A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:About a year ago, I moved to a new city to take part in a new training course. I knew no one and the nature of the course and my job makes it hard for me to meet new people. However I was fine because I struck up a really good friendship with a guy on the course. I've always been more of a boy's girl and it was a real relief to find someone I got on so well with. We have the same interests, same sense of humour and over the past year we've spent alot of time together - outside of the course as well as on. There have been a few occassions, when we've had a drink when we've made out but always laughed it off the morning after. The problem is I think I'm really falling for him and its making it difficult to be around him. I wasn't attracted to him when we first met, this has really crept up on me. Now I can't stop thinking about him, when he's not around I find excuses to get in touch. I get jealous when I see him with other girls and I look forward to seeing him all day. But i know he doesn't feel the same way and however good I feel when I'm with him is how bad I feel when he's not around. It's making me feel desperate, vulnerable and silly. I picked a row with him the other week because I was so angry at myself for feeling like this. I could never talk to him about it - I would be far to embarassed - so I've been trying to keep some distance, but then he gets upset about it. I try to hang out with the other people on the course, but thats caused problems to - I think he felt left out when I started spending time with one of the other guys and now they've fallen out. I'm terrified I'm going to lose his friendship if I can't get a grip on this. Any advice gratefully received. :)
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male
reader, dirtball  +, writes (24 June 2010):
 I think the only way this is going to be better is if you tell him. I know it will be hard, and being in a similar situation, I can't bring myself to do it either. The advice I've been given was along these lines:
Nothing in life worth having comes easy. You'll never know unless you put yourself out there. You have to weigh if the potential reward is worth it to you for all the reasons you've laid out.
Good luck. I can tell you from a guy's perspective that he likely has a thing for you. True, some men make out with random people, but that is a clear sign of attraction. Give it a shot!
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