A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone, So my fiance and I were talking about fantasies. We've already had a 3some with another guy (he just touched me and I touched him no sex) and I said I'd really like to try with another woman or couple out of curiousity (again, no sex but foreplay) My partner agreed as I knew he would because that has always been his fantasy too (as was the 3some with another guy). Since this conversation, all he's done is obsess with the opportunity of having another woman. We've been out 3 times in clubs trying to find someone and I've humoured him but it's now gone too far. Last night, we went out and he liked a girl that I didn't like, he kept pestering me if I liked her and it's gone too far. The first night we went out he ended up bringing a guy back with us after he asked the guy if he was up for it so I went ahead with another guy again because my man wanted to. I've said after last night enough's enough and let's leave it as a fantasy and he has said it's not fair because I've had 2 guys now and he hasn't had a woman. The guys were HIS IDEA!!!! I just don't know what to do as it is a fantasy we both want, but we're arguing about it now and also, he's throwing his acted out fantasies at me!! What do I do?! Surely he should respect my feelings?? HELP!?!?!
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female
reader, satindesire  +, writes (31 March 2009):
 Yes, he should respect your feelings.
This is what happens when good communication takes a backseat to sex in a relationship. Fantasies are great, but you HAVE to make sure both of you are on the same page. That means, you both HAVE to agree on -everything-, who sleeps with who, where, when, what person is invited, EVERYTHING.
DO NOT ever do anything you are uncomfortable or not okay with doing again. Also, you need to explain to your boyfriend that you have to like the girl that he wants to come into the bedroom as well. It doesn't matter whose gotten to sleep with whom right now, THIS IS NOT A CONTEST or a race.
You both need to sit down and establish boundaries and talk about this threesome thing. This can ruin relationships, and HAS ruined relationships of many people. Communication and honesty is key in keeping both partners happy and satisfied when it comes down to this sort of thing. If you two can't talk about it, you shouldn't be doing it.
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