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He's shagged 15 men and slept with 20 prostitutes, in his past-he's very unemotional! Should I end this?

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Question - (27 February 2006) 4 Answers - (Newest, 27 February 2006)
A female , anonymous writes:

Hi all, When do you know when a relationship should end? My boyfriend of 4 months claims that he loves me more and more but I don't believe him because I really don't feel it. I actually feel that he takes me a little for granted and that he is very insensitive and unemotional. I on the other hand am very emotional and over sensitive. It's almost as if everything he says hurts my feelings. Yet it wasn't like this at first. i fear though that at first he waas only showing his "best side"! Added to this he told me that he had visited some sex clubs over the last two years where he shagged about 15 men. He claims he just wanted to try it out and make some of his fantasies reality. I fear this proves that he really is insensitive because I would never put mny fantasies into action for fear of hurting my soul. And trying something out 15 times? He has also slept with about 20 female prostitutes in his life. He claims that he had sex with both the guys and the prostitutes because he hadn't been able to chat up a girl that night.....That too blows my mind! Please help!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2006):

girl you should dump him. he done all the and wen you have sex and all that dont you feel dirty afterwards???

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A female reader, smeedle United Kingdom +, writes (27 February 2006):

smeedle agony auntLIke Martini says this is bothering you so ditch him, he is open with you and you can look at this as hurting your feelings or that he is not hiding things from you so no secrets.

He has had a lot of sexual partners in a short period of time but that is not so unusual, nor is trying of different partners to find your true sexuality.

Brave bloke to put fantasy into reality, most dont, and those who do I suspect would not admit to it.

You have not been together long so finishing with him will hurt but you will get over it, you need to find a bloke that is more compatable with your values, and sensitive to your needs, you say you are an emotional person so you need a sensitive person who will nurture and respect you.

this may is not for you.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2006):

I feel the best thing you can do is: ditch this guy. Your man needs some intensive counseling for sexual addictions, hun. This is serious stuff. His emotional neglect of you is happening because a sexually addicted person is more emotionally involved in fantasy than he is in a real relationship. A sexually addicted person creates an emotional distance between himself and his partner. In most cases, the partner is aware something is missing. Out of control sexual behaviours is a huge red flag. Fifteen gay lovers, 20 prostitutes, sex clubs, etc-all are signs he's living in 'pure' sexual fantasy. His mindset is way out of whack and you may never have a loving, respectable, committed relationship with him. Until he gets help for his addictions, he's not capable of real-life love. If you feel something's missing, there's a good chance sex addiction is filling the void. He needs help. It's likely, he's in denial. You need to end this relationship or this relationship will take you down. You really do deserve better. If you've had sex with him...get to a clinic and get checked for STD'S asap. Sorry to say this, but it's just my opinion...take it or leave it. And I wish you the best...please stay safe and take care of YOU.

Hugs, Irish

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2006):

Obviously this is bothering you. So leave him if you can't get it out of your mind. Others may tell you to stay and workout the problems, but you know what? Just make sure you leave and don't complain afterwards that you are really actually in love with him, yadda yadda.

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