A
female
age
41-50,
*akeart78
writes:So here is my dilemma...I know some of you ladies have seen this before. I have a great guy friend who I met a year ago. I fell for him right away,(hes older by 8 years which I know bugs him) but I kept my distance because of a girlfriend that lives out of state. He calls her that, but I am pretty sure it is a F*** Buddy. I have never met her, nor do I want to. He has a stressful job, alot of hours so I dont get to see him much. When we do meet for breakfast or coffee, he lights up. He hugs me and kisses me on the cheek and the lips. Quick kisses on the lips, but multiple times in a row. Its always like that. He's very caring, sweet, and I am drawn to him, but I honestly do not know if he likes me just as a friend and this is the way he acts all the time, or if he realllly likes me. He mentioned a few times how he never knows when a girl likes him. I fear that was my "in" and I missed it. Trying to see him on his days off his tough. He loves being by himself because he is so independent, so that frustrates me - I feel like if he really wanted to see me, he would be with me already. UGGGHHH. Do I talk to him and be blunt about him flirting with me? Do I flirt back more aggressively and see what he says? I dont wish to lose him as a friend...Need advice!!
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female
reader, Sugarbuns  +, writes (26 March 2011):
 Here's what I think you have to consider. 1)If you find out that he's interested, where does that leave him and girlfriend. You don't want to become the new F*** buddy in between her visits. 2) If he truly enjoys his time alone, you may be setting yourself up for a big disappointment. Here's the thing I see, he has a girlfriend long distance. That's probably intentional. If he does the right thing and breaks it off with her, you may find that he's less fun to be around full time especially if it competes for his own free time. Some people are perfectly happy being alone, so if you're expecting this to blossom into some kind of doe-eyed hand-in-hand relationship, you may be shocked to discover he only wants to see you now and then. By that time, your heart will be well involved with this man and much harder to pull away from. If you still plan to puruse this, I would just have a very frank discussion with him. Your both adults. No games here. Just put it on the table and see what he says. Just be sure you ask the right questions and listen fully to his answers. Good luck.
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (26 March 2011):
 I honestly wouldn't become involved with a guy who claims to have a GF. You know it says a lot about you that even without knowing her or really much about their relationship you write her off a FCk buddy. Maybe because it would be "morally" easier for you to flirt back?
If he WANTS to be with you don't you think he should at least have the decency and respect to dump his gf/FWB first? Or would you at some point in the future like to be disrespect too?
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