A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:So, to make a long story short. I met this guy about 3 1/2 years ago. We were both in relationships and did nothing but email almost every day for about 10 months. We definitely had a serious attraction and got to know each other well through these emails. He used to initiate contact a lot during this time and wanted to hang out.We both ended our relationships for our own reasons. Nothing became physical until after this time. After he ended his relationship, he stopped initiating as much contact or hanging out. But if I contact him via, email, text or phone, he responds right away. When I see him he always gives me a big smile and seems happy to see me and chat it up.He said he does not want a girlfriend right now and it has nothing to do with me. He wants to finish school. He has a lot of stresses in his life right now and I can tell he is unhappy.My question is, if he isn't into me anymore, then why doesn't he cut me off totally or just not respond to me at all? Wouldn't he want to get rid of me? I have come right out and asked him to be honest if he isn't into me and he won't say anything, just looks into my eyes and stares. If he is interested, but the timing is bad, should I hold on? I really care about him and feel a definite connection. I feel like he does too, but I scare him with my feelings. I feel like I should let go, but can't seem to do it because he doesn't cut me off entirely. Bottom line is, he's not into me, right?
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female
reader, marieclaire  +, writes (30 July 2009):
 he's not into you! so don't waste your time. you're probably a great girl so go and find someone who'll actually care about you. CUT him off! you don't need to be a comfort blanket or just a bit of company to anyone. wait for someone who'll cherish you like they're supposed to
A
male
reader, lonestarchalk1 +, writes (30 July 2009):
 It's over, move on, its easy meeting someone, its easier to say good bye. Just move on and forget this guy and remember the happy memories you shared and enjoyed, let it go
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A
female
reader, sarcy24  + ♥, writes (30 July 2009):
 Excellent advice from AskOlder sister.
After reading your post there is no reason why he would want to give you up as you are fun, there for him and kind and supportive at all times. I think you do have to go with his comment of 'not wanting a girlfriend right now' and look elsewhere for a new boyfriend keeping him on the back burner as a friend. Do not initate anymore contact with him, let him come to you. If he doesn't then accept he does not want anything more and look elsewhere. I know it is hard but he isn't giving you the signals of wanting a relationship at the moment - he also doesn't lie to you or appear to give you false hope - so start looking for another. Hopefully when he is less stressed and can concentrate properly on you and a relationship he will be back in touch.
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A
female
reader, Ask oldersister + ♥, writes (30 July 2009):
 "He said he does not want a girlfriend right now and it has nothing to do with me"- he can't be into you right now because for whatever reason, he's unhappy and has stresses in his life so he doesn't have that kind of energy that you have to devote to a relationship. Why doesn't he cut you off? Why would he? He likes you a lot and enjoys your company. In the meantime, don't beat yourself up over this by taking it personally- what you really need to do is put yourself back on the dating market and having more fun. Easier said than done, I know but it's the only way to go from here, given what he's told you.
If you are even asking the question whether you might scare him off with your feelings, then it's time to let go for now and focus on YOUR life and other guys. He's not willing to be your boyfriend so don't be intimate with him anymore okay? Take care.
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