A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My husband does not want sex at all. No matter how I try to initiate it - sexy lingerie, romantic meal, kissing passionately - he just refuses sex.I know why - he's more interested in eating. He eats almost anything - from pizza to curry to a fish and chips meal. He cooks for himself too.I feel upset. I tried taking an interest, but stopped myself from over-eating unlike him.He just won't stop over-eating, and this is making our sex life go from passionately red-hot to none at all.It makes me feel physically unloved. No matter how much my husband tells me he loves me, I feel I need him to show it physically too.I told him that, but he insisted that if I was that bothered, I should find someone else to sleep with, he said that he was sure that I'd be attracted to someone else other than him, in all honesty, and that I should act on it.He said telling me he loves me is enough, he doesn't need to show it physically.He was wiry and toned when we met, now he's started becoming obese and uninterested in sex, saying about the above thing relating to sex [i.e. other persons for me] and that we need to be in a comfortable routine.How the hell do I cope with what he's told me?this doesn't seem right.I am flabbergasted, outraged and shocked.please help me, Rachel
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female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (18 May 2009):
It sounds like he has some serious issues here and possibly an eating disorder.
The fact he's simply told you to bugger off and have sex with someone else says to me he has some real self esteem issues too.
What has happened to make him change like this? Is there anything that you can remember about the time when he started eating.
He needs to get some help and you have to make him realise he has a problem. If leaving him for a little while because you can't stay around and watch him killing himself helps then do it.
Good Luck!! xx
A
female
reader, bobbles32  +, writes (18 May 2009):
 Has he always overeaten?
How long has is been going on?
Is something stressing him out?
You should try to get him to a therapist, sometimes overeating can be related to a mental disorder.
If nothing seems out of line and all is well but he's continuing to over eat then bring him to a doctor, sometimes when we over eat it's because we're lacking in nutrients or a certain vitamin..
I wouldn't act on his offer to be with someone else physically, instead if he doesn't come around, explain to him that you're going to leave and tell him exactly why. If he really does love you like he says he does, he'll figure it out real quick.
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