A
female
age
36-40,
*leudancer
writes:Not sure what to do here. I'm usually pretty assertive when it comes to guys and people I like in general. I've recently gone through a rough episode with someone I dated for a few months and wasn't interested in anyone at all and then I ran into this guy I hadn't seen for a few years at my friend's birthday party. Let's call this guy Ken. I went to college with Ken. Ken seems interested in me, we talked for most of the night at the party. He's always initiating conversation with me and even when we're with a group of people we somehow end up being alone or sit next to each other and talk, he plays with my phone, and laughs at my jokes.Though Ken seems interested in me he doesn't compliment me or make any effort to touch or show any physical signs of interest. The last time I saw him he seemed excited to see me but when we got to the cafe he was almost ignoring me, which may have been because my friends were around and in close proximity meaning we couldn't really talk like before.I like Ken, and I want to spend more time with him but Ken is going overseas for a few months for work and I'm wondering if that's the reason he's not being more assertive. He leaves in a week. I also don't know if I should make him aware of my feelings if he isn't already so as not to make the situation more difficult for either of us. I just would hate it if we expressed our feelings (if they are mutual) and then not see him for months. What would you do in my situation? I'm thinking it's a no go because he's leaving so soon. =( Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2010): Yes tell him - think of it as your own little story - if he leaves without you telling him how you feel, your just gunna think what if and does he? But if you tell him then you'll find out how he feels about you and it could change everything for the good sure it may not be good but then you know the truth - go for it girl finish the chapter :) xx
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (11 November 2010):
 You could leave him a subtle hint. Tell him "I enjoy spending time with you, and think it's a shame you are leaving. I will miss you. Do you think we could hang out more when you come back?"
That should tell him everything without being too much out there, and he won't have to "express" any feelings in return, and things wont be awkward. Then you go on about your business and he can go on about his, with no strings attached, and see how feelings have developed when he comes back.
It would just be silly to try for a relationship right before he leaves, because by the time he gets back you might not even be that into him anymore. But by leaving him this hint, he will know where you stand, and will think about it, and when he comes back who knows.... At least you will have let him know you are interested when he comes back.
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A
female
reader, thinkb4  +, writes (11 November 2010):
If you dont do it now you never will.
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A
male
reader, soon567 +, writes (11 November 2010):
he's leaving for a few months...how would you feel it he lay another? I think you should voice your opinion or think of it as a "what if".
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (11 November 2010):
 Cut the crap and get to the chase, do it before he leaves! If he doesn't harbor the same feelings then oh well, out of sight, out of mind. Now, if he is that into you, he'll only be gone a couple of months. Surely you could handle that? Take the plunge, time is a ticking!
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A
male
reader, hiro06 +, writes (11 November 2010):
No you shouldnt tell him how you feel yet. Long distance relationships never work out especially ones that havet had proper time to develop yet. I would just wait for him to return, but keep open communication with him while he is gone. Also, play the field while he is gone you just to keep your options open because you never know whom or what might come along. When he gets back as long as you keep talk to him while he is gone you guys should have a better relationship then when he left. The say "absence makes the heart grow fonder" is so true. Men love to be physical we touch women to let them know we are interest. The reasons we might not be physical with is 1 he is shy and/or gay 2 he only like you as a friend or 3 like you stated he may not want to start anything with you yet. Well good luck and I wish you the best.
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