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He's ignoring me - what's going on??

Tagged as: Friends, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (26 January 2009) 3 Answers - (Newest, 26 January 2009)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Okay, there's this guy I really like. We've known each other for about five years and have become really good friends (he's a former college prof of mine; I know, I know, age difference, blahblah) and we get along great. I honestly have no problem with the age difference

But ever since we met over Christmas (I was visiting over the holidays; we were really flirting - gazed in each other's eyes and he told me we can meet at his house next time I'm home!) I've gone back to where I work (several states away) and have tried to keep in touch with him, saying it was good seeing him, blahblah. Since I came back to my place around the first of the year I have sent probably about five emails and have tried to call him a couple times, leaving one voice message.

He's been ignoring me since we last met. He did respond to one email (a "school" question as I'm interested in grad school); other than that - nothing. Hasn't returned my calls, emails, nothing. I sent him a funny email yesterday and that hasn't even gotten a response. Before I would send him a funny email and he'd respond and tease me which made me feel really good.

Can someone please tell me what is going on? What did I do wrong? I really, really like him and can't stop thinking about him. I've tried ignoring him back, but it's so hard! The funny email I sent was the first contact I'd made to him in about 10 days, so that's a start. He's not married and not in a relationship.

View related questions: christmas, flirt

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2009):

If he's not interested, then why flirt and act like he IS interested???? If that's the case, then it's like he knows I like him, so he flirts just enough so that I go crazy for him, and there's nothing I can do to get him out of my mind.

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A female reader, AperfectSchism United States +, writes (26 January 2009):

AperfectSchism agony auntThere are probably a few factors in this particular situation that could be the reason why he isn't replying...

A.) He's not interested in a relationship.

B.) He's interested, but very uneasy about starting a relationship with you (either because of age or distance.)

C.) He's really busy with work and can't see past the student/professor surface for the moment.

I agree with 'Romeo Wife', you should wait it out. Keep yourself busy (and not looming around the computer) for a while, try to ignore the "Compose New E-mail" button when you're checking your e-mail and just stay positive.

It may or may not work out, but hopefully he'll at least reply.

Hope this helped! :D

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A female reader, Romeo Wife United Kingdom +, writes (26 January 2009):

Romeo Wife agony auntI know how hard it is to just ignore the person you love, but honestly if he has been ignoring you is because he has probably realised that he isn't ready to be in a relationship with you or he is probably nervous and scared, i don't know the guy and his personality but if you say that he mailed back about a school questions is because he is probably not interested in you! If you trust him you should email him and try to explain to him the way you feel and get him to explain to you why he seems so distant then you will have your answers and you won't be so confused. I seriously hope that he has a good enough reason to be ignoring you other wise if he's also got feelings for you...why would he ignore you!?

Don't think too much about it, tell him how you feel about his silence and wait for an answer...then let us know!

Hope he answers...!! :).

PS. try to keep your self busy with other things so you don't think about him the whole time, i know it's tough but try it really should make it easier for you!

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