A
female
age
36-40,
*rowneyes84
writes:I've never done this before so here goes....I've been with my boyfriend for nearly 18 months now. He's everything I'm looking for in a man except for one thing-he's never told me he loves me.He's said it by text a couple of times and I blurted it out to him a few months back and he said it back but he was shocked I'd said it. He's never said it of his own accord.When we've talked (and argued) about it in the past he firstly said there was 'no reason' for it and couldn't understand why, if he felt it, I needed to hear it. Now he's said he just finds it hard to say. I am just finding it hard to cope with as I'm quite affectionate and it's stopping me expressing how I feel to him. I feel this is pushing a wedge between us. Please help
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female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (7 March 2008):
 Hello sweetness,
Firstly, all though he doesn't SAY it to you, does he SHOW you that he loves you? It seems to be that first and foremost - his actions will speak louder than his words. Maybe he's one of those fellas who doesn't emote very easily. So, if he SHOWS you that he loves you, day after day, but just has a hard time putting it in words, then I would say this:
Wait for him. Wait for him to come around. He's not going to say it any faster if he feels a lot of pressure to say it. Then he's going to feel like it's gonna be this HUGE this when he finally says it, and it's gonna be this BIG DEAL and he'll have to make it PERFECT... help ease that stress. Just be cool about it and accept the love that he silently gives to you.
However, if he doesn't show you that he loves you sufficiently, I would say that you really need to talk to him about it. Give him a few months to come around (unless this guy is a jerk. Then just stop wasting time and leave him now. But it doesn't sound like he's a jerk, just a little hard to express himself.), and then ask him, "look, do you love me or are we just playing around here? I don't want to be in a loveless relationship, and that's sort of what this feels like."
Perhaps write him a letter? That may make it easier for him to prepare a response and then talk it out with you.
I wish you luck, sweetness!
xx India
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (7 March 2008):
Hello sweetness,
Firstly, all though he doesn't SAY it to you, does he SHOW you that he loves you? It seems to be that first and foremost - his actions will speak louder than his words. Maybe he's one of those fellas who doesn't emote very easily. So, if he SHOWS you that he loves you, day after day, but just has a hard time putting it in words, then I would say this:
He love
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2008): If you really love this man, take it slow. Maybe he wasn't told that he was loved when he was young. Talk to him calmly, tell him how you feel. Was his father really affectionate with his mother? sometimes men feel that they need to be "manly" open up and tell him what you feel. All you can do is be open and wait for the man that you love. If you feel the love from him, maybe he doesnt feel that he should tell it. Just be open and love him no matter what
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