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... Send *mapeaches a private message | | | *mapeaches's profile:I am one of those people that others go to for advice.. frequently I am the most screwed up, but I have the ability to maybe not always give the best advice, but what do you call that... empathy... I can put myself in your place, understand why the problem is puzzling you and give an opinion of what is probably the best thing for all. Having said that I know that what is the right thing, is not always the best or definatly not the easiest thing.. sometimes being wrong can be fun for a while.. I know that.. so I am not judgemental, usually. We all have our limits.. More often than not some of my best advice is.. if I came to you with this problem, what would you tell me.. Be your own best friend, I have had friends with abusive boyfriends, have been abused.. you can't always help someone.. but you an always love them. always care.. always show it. I am currently in a relationship, two and a half years. I had been married for 13 years.. divorced 5 years ago.. if you had read the question that got me here, I was a cheater. I guess what you would call an undisciplined cheater.. never got caught. my "relationship" lasted a long time.. we were far more than lovers though.. we were friends.. I miss his face every day. I have not cheated on my current love and have no plans to. I don't know if I am needy, I just need affection. Thats what I mean about what is right isn't always the best thing.. I was married and the right thing to do when my husband started holding his affection hostage was kick him to the curb. Rather that get it elswhere.. but we had two little kids.. financially I knew I was better with him.. and I had my guy to hold my hand and make me feel special.. Yes it was wrong.. I wouldn't change it for the world.. so I am here.. I will listen.. as previously stated.. I am nursing a broken heart.. my long time friend recently died, and being that our relationship was much of a secret, so is how much his death has hurt me.. so I feel a little messed up... a little broken... I would like to say every day I feel a little better.. but not really the case.. I guess one day I will.. I hope. thanks for listening.. |
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No comfort for losing secret love
Q. Had been having ... hate to use the word affair.. a REALLY close friendship with a married man.. it had been going on for 9 years.. recently I had insisted on complete platonic (two years of platonic) relationship due to a new relationship that i ...
A. 10 January 2008: today would have been his birthday... my heart is filled with sadness and loss... none of which can be expressed in my current environment.... i love my boyfriend... but i miss this man.. i miss the flirtation i miss his smile, i miss his smell.. ... (read in full...)
Is there such a thing as destiny? For everyone?
Q. hi guys..............is there such thing as destiny??? Is there someone for everyone out there???...
A. 30 November 2007: Wish I had the answer to that question.. I do think there is someone for everyone..Thats why it is so important to not waste time hanging with a guy that you know is not THE one... but there are alot shaky areas in that theory.. you love a guy.. ... (read in full...)
I fallen for a musician who played in our town, now I'm thinking of moving near him, how do I tell him I'm interested in a relationship?
Q. O.k., basically I met the guy of my dreams and he lives a long way away from me. I am almost 23 and he is 26. We met the first time in person when he and his band were on tour and played a show where I lived about 7 months ago. We keep in touch ...
A. 26 November 2007: sounds like you have it all together... being a musician doesn't make him a animal.. there are plenty of car salesman who can't be faithful.. good luck.. it sounds like he would be damn lucky to have you.. i hope he can see that... ... (read in full...)
We had sex and now he wants it all the time! Advice?
Q. hello i am very young and last night lost my virginity i am nervous but i don't no why i loved it but now my boyfriend wants to do it everytime we meat what should i do xxxx baffled beutyxx...
A. 26 November 2007: for the love of god.. 10-12??? You kids have so much more to deal with.. i am sorry you even were put in that position at such an age... you do not do anything you don't want to do.. and jsut because you did it once does not mean you need to be his ... (read in full...)
Did my ex fiancee propose, just so I would feel better about having sex before marriage? What do you think?
Q. I know I kind of asked this question a little while ago. But, it keeps resurfacing in my mind. I broke up with my fiance a month or so ago, but I want to know if he proposed just so I would feel better about having sex before marriage? We had sex ...
A. 26 November 2007: I agree with last answerer.. move on.. no one could answer this for you but him and he probably won't tell you the truth.. it is done and over.. move on find a new guy and don't be so quick to throw away your beliefs for anyone.. someone who loves ... (read in full...)
Is there something else I can use instead of a condom?
Q. Is there something else i can use instead of a condom?...
A. 26 November 2007: There are many alternatives but the only one to protect you from disease is condom.. the sponge is available and handy.. there are inserts that will prevent pregnancy but the only one to protect you from aids, and stds... condoms.. my heartfelt and ... (read in full...)
I was in the wrong and I still love him! How can I get him back?
Q. here goes about 3 months ago my ex of 8 years broke up with me i have 4 children whom he has claimed his own for the last 8 years i was mean to him called him every name in the book i came from an abusive marriage of 20 years before him. this all ...
A. 26 November 2007: wow.. thats tough.. i mean was there a partnership in this.. why wouldn't he fork over a dime of income tax.. and... i don't know.. i think there is more to this.. what were you so mad about that you were verbally abusive.. and having been in an ... (read in full...)
I've got two babies, and I'm married to an alcoholic, how can I escape this mess?
Q. I have been married for just about three years, and they have been the worst years of my life. My husband is an alcoholic, and very verbally and emotionally abusive. He gets drunk EVERY day. He drinks in the shower, any where he can. I find ...
A. 26 November 2007: Definatly find some help.. there are womens shelters that will help you.. tell your dr.. they can point you to the proper agencies.. your family should help you.. but you have to be ready.. the biggest thing with these sort of relationships.. i was ... (read in full...)
I fallen for a musician who played in our town, now I'm thinking of moving near him, how do I tell him I'm interested in a relationship?
Q. O.k., basically I met the guy of my dreams and he lives a long way away from me. I am almost 23 and he is 26. We met the first time in person when he and his band were on tour and played a show where I lived about 7 months ago. We keep in touch ...
A. 26 November 2007: well you pretty much summed it up.. It is your choice whether you want to dangle your feet or just jump in.. either way.. there is a chance the water will be cold.. but there is just as easily a chance it will be warm.. you only lose if you don't ... (read in full...)
He's split with his wife, but still talks to her everyday because of he kids, how can I tell if he is ready to move on?
Q. I have been with a fella for 3 months. His wife of 17 years left saying she was unhappy. He is in contact with her every day because their children are teenagers who they share. He talks to her like they are very good friends yet he has only been ...
A. 26 November 2007: Well, I would say ask him.. but to be honest.. after that long of a marriage if he had the answer.. if he was so together that he could say for sure he would be pretty magical.. love is a chance under the best of circumstances and even if he said ... (read in full...)
No comfort for losing secret love
Q. Had been having ... hate to use the word affair.. a REALLY close friendship with a married man.. it had been going on for 9 years.. recently I had insisted on complete platonic (two years of platonic) relationship due to a new relationship that i ...
A. 26 November 2007: Hi.. so the original problem was not being able to get over the loss of a good friend.. its seven months later.. and you know days go by where I feel ok.. but its like auto pilot.. and i hate to waste a moment.. i mean his life is over.. and here i ... (read in full...)
How to I Stop Having Urges to Self-Injure?
Q. I know this isn't a romance question but maybe you can help me anyway. Over the last year I've been having more trouble dealing with my problems in healthy ways, and when I am overwhelmed my knee jerk thought is to hurt myself, to cut myself ...
A. 10 November 2007: Well, everyone has given you some really good advise. i am not sure i have much to add.. just when i was in my teens I had this same desire.. felt pretty good generally, had some issues but there would be these times that i felt like i would just ... (read in full...)
He's controlling, what can I do.
Q. I broke up with my ex a month ago, and a week later he had all these new girls added to his myspace. He kept calling me for awhile saying how much he loved me, but how could that be true if he already has all these blondes that are 19 and 21 on his ...
A. 10 November 2007: It sounds to me like you might be a bit "addicted" to the drama of being with this guy.. You need to let it go.. what comes around goes around and his will come back to him.. all you can control is you.. you need to stop obsessing about him.. Let ... (read in full...)
I'm scare it will hurt more.
Q. i'm in a relationship with the man of my dreams and he really wants to have "hit it from the back" i'm afraid it'll hurt but i want to give him what he wants. is there anything i could do so it wont hurt or hurt less ...
A. 9 November 2007: Sexual experimentation can be fun for everyone.. BUT you need to be ready and I can say that doing something like that should be with someone you are commited with. You don't say how long you two have been together.. I would say that someone who ... (read in full...)
What is the meaning of life and the purpose of being a human?
Q. Everybody should has its dream,me too.However,I donot know what to do exactly.Sometimes ,I just want to go abroad to live a different life;and sometimes ,I don't know what to do at all.The feeling is so terrible.Do not want to do anything,even ...
A. 5 November 2007: The purpose of life... to be the best you that you can be.. no one can be everything to everyone.. you are young and have a lot of living left to do.. travel if you want.. what about the peace corp? You want to live a meaningful life.. Get ... (read in full...)
Does he still want me, or is he only playing games with my mind?
Q. hi im a 20year old women nd very confused! i split from my ex 3 months ago afta 2 nd half years together we also have a little son he been seeing someone else in that time he didnt want 2 know me or his son and now his girlfriend cheated on him he ...
A. 5 November 2007: Well, the old saying actions speak louder than words is prety important here.. what he is saying and what he is doing.. two WAY different things.. it sounds to me like he does not like to be alone. and you and your baby deserve the most important ... (read in full...)
D`oes he hate the way I taste?
Q. Hey My boyfriend of 5 months went down on me for the first time ever this weekend, all was goin great, until afterwards he said i 'taste like a bitch'. what i wanna know, is this a bad thing? does he hate the way i taste? this has me really c...
A. 30 October 2007: everyone is right.. you have to ask him.. however i have to say for me.. i wouldn't care how he meant it.. it sounds degrading and i would lose him.. are you guys just sex buddies or are you in a real relationship?... (read in full...)
All I seem to focus on is the negatives...how can I stop this and have a normal relationship??
Q. Hi everybody. Hope somebody can help me here or if somebody is in a similar situation. I have met a lovely guy who travels alot for his job but when we see each other the time we spend together is great, he is very caring and very affectio...
A. 29 October 2007: Hmmm... you probably should spend some time on your own.. and counseling might be of some help.. conseling would probably help.. but would i advise you to end current relationship no not so much.. ok so it would have been a good idea to wait it out. ... (read in full...)
My ex won't leave me alone and I'm scared of dating.
Q. When I was 15 i starting dating a guy who was really nice. We got engaged after just a few weeks, fast I know but we were young. After about 9 months during an argument he hit me across my face. I was really confused at the time I thought he loved ...
A. 29 October 2007: Previous comments correct.. get your dad involved, if that is not an option. you need to go to the police.. I understand that might seem drastic.. but this young man is obsessed, you do need to break all ties..have no contact.. not because you feel ... (read in full...)
We've been going through a hard time, how to work through this.
Q. I have been with my partner for 6 1/2 years. Just a few days ago, we had been out drinking and met from friends out who had some of there friends with them. We then all came back to our house and had more drinks and etc. I went to bed because I was ...
A. 28 October 2007: Wow.. that would be the reason why three-somes are hardly ever a good idea..I wish i had some magic words.. a time machine maybe.. here is what i think.. this last event.. not your biggest problem.. almost like the headache you get because you have ... (read in full...)
Where can I get KY jelly and how should I use it?
Q. wer will i get KY jelly would i get it a local chemist or is there some special store that i wolud have to go to. and wen sholud i use it how many minutes before intersourse ???n wer should i apply it???...
A. 25 October 2007: Anywhere sells it.. walmart osco.. wherever the condoms are.. which is usually near the menstrual pads... just a note... NEVER use vaseline and condoms.. the petroleaum jelly in vaseline eats condoms and makes them inefective in preventing pregnancy ... (read in full...)
Life doesn't wait so why should I?
Q. I have been in a serious relationship with this man for 6.5 years now. We finally moved in together this last May. He told me last Christmas he wanted to try living together for atleast 6 months before we take the next step (getting engaged). ...
A. 24 October 2007: Does this man know that the marriage thing is important to you? because if he knows and still doesn't want to, then you need to rethink things.. life doesn't wait.. no body knows whats around the corner.. but if you love him you need to give him a ... (read in full...)
I suspect there's more to the story
Q. Its been maybe a week now that me and my boyfriend I mean "ex-boyfriend" broke up and he's really confusing me. We had been going out for almost 2 years we were each others first everything. Then all of a sudden out of no-where he said it was time ...
A. 24 October 2007: I am of the school of thinking that love shouldn't be quite that difficult. having said that.. I too have done what you are doing. and waited and waited.. its ok to love this person and to hope that it will turn out how you want it to.. but by all ... (read in full...)
This woman is my world but she's married.
Q. i am 19 years old and i have been with this 31 year old woman for 8 months. she got 4 kids n she is married. but since we been together its been the best time of my life and hers even her family thinks that im the best person for her. she has no ...
A. 24 October 2007: Oh sweetie.. i am all about love.. but first of all lies have no place in love.. she is going to feel betrayed when you tell her the truth about your age.. and there is a reason why you felt you had to lie.. if she knew your age she would not have ... (read in full...)
No comfort for losing secret love
Q. Had been having ... hate to use the word affair.. a REALLY close friendship with a married man.. it had been going on for 9 years.. recently I had insisted on complete platonic (two years of platonic) relationship due to a new relationship that i ...
A. 24 October 2007: Thank you all for your very nice and heartfelt thoughts and advice.. I do have a current boyfriend who i truly love and he knew that this man was a friend, but when we became serious I never mentioned the "how close" we were. I did not want him to ... (read in full...)
No comfort for losing secret love
Q. Had been having ... hate to use the word affair.. a REALLY close friendship with a married man.. it had been going on for 9 years.. recently I had insisted on complete platonic (two years of platonic) relationship due to a new relationship that i ...
A. 23 October 2007: Yes that might be a good idea, however i have no insurance, I have no ability to let my current partner know how bad this has hurt me.. if i was able to express my loss to my loved ones.. well i probably wouldn't be writing to strangers looking for ... (read in full...)
Loving from afar
Q. I love a girl, but she already has a boyfriend. And there is no signs that they'll break up any time soon. I really love her, and there is no one else I want besides her. If only she knew how I felt. I would do anything for her. What should I do? I ...
A. 23 October 2007: Its tough to put yourself out there.. i understand.. but you will never know unless you do.. you might want to try a little dialouge starting with. "I would never want this to hurt our friendship and I know you are with someone.. but I want to make ... (read in full...)
I'm unhappily married and recently started an affair. Is this so wrong?
Q. I am unhappily married and i think it is too late. i recently started an affair with a man from my past who is also married. he blows hot and cold. i think we are soul mates and believe i am falling in love. i would be quite happy to stay in my ...
A. 23 October 2007: Been there... 9 years ago.. unhappily married.. a man would come to where i work.. just be nice to me.. on his way to mcdonalds come in and ask if i needed anything.. one day he kissed me..we both felt bad.. then a week later. again.. we tried to ... (read in full...)
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