A
female
age
30-35,
*utiepiesensei
writes:My guy is a workaholic. We both go to a prestigious university so there is always a lot of schoolwork and he is an engineering major so his workload is heavier than mine. Not only that, he is involved in a bunch of organizations and is a member of Kappa Alpha Psi fraternity inc. so he is always handling frat affairs as well. It's like having a job. In short, he's busy ALL OF THE TIME. He says I should be happy he's been on his work grind and has been being successful. He has been getting more job interviews and internships and better grades. The thing is, I'm proud of him, but he never has time for me anymore.....it's like he's too busy to see me, spend time together, to call me, to text me or check in on me. He's always doing something. And when we finally do spend time together, it's always like his mind is constantly thinking about everything he has to do. I told him that he will always be busy so how will he be able to balance me too? He told me to give him time to learn how to balance both me and his work because he's not sure how to do that efficiently yet. It's just so hard trying to understand this because even though he's been doing well in everything else, he has become much less affectionate. I used to feel like I was the only girl in the world and now I don't get that feeling anymore. He said that it was because he used to let his work fall to the wayside to make me happy and he wants to be able to get himself together too. I respect that.....I'm happy for him....I just feel neglected and don't know what to do. I know for a fact that he loves and cares about me. Multiple times he has said he does and there isn't a doubt in his mind that he does. I just don't know if I really should just suck it up and support him to give him time to learn or should I do something else. I love him so much, I just really miss the things he now doesn't have the time to do anymore. He has actual reasons, it's not a bunch of lame excuses, I know how busy he is but I don't feel as important as I used to.....I want him to be successful as well though.....
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male
reader, bugmenot3 +, writes (18 October 2011):
Sounds like he has a problem with over-achieving and perfectionism. If I were you I'd be firm with him and make it clear that he's got to find time for you and get his priorities in balance.
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