A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Iv been going with my boyfriend for almost 2 years now, and things seem to be going really bad, we argue alot about anything and everything and i feel like there is a serious loss of communication on his part. I know he loves me alot, he spends all his time with me, will do anything for me, and takes care of me etc, we have almost broke up alot of times and iv got so angry that he doesnt listen and told him to go so many times but he wont, and the past (6 months or so) our love life has suffered. I feel like he doesnt make a effort to please me or give me much sexual attention and i find this really hard to deal with. I dont know what to do. He never ever comes on to me or makes me feel sexy or appreciated. Iv tried to talk to him and ask him whats wrong but he always complains im too forward or he doesnt feel good about himself. I dont know what to do about it? it is really hurting me and our relationship. He's always coming up with excuses that are not valid,like im not in the mood or im too tired. Please help.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2010): How about taking control of sex? There's nothing more exotic than knowing our partner WANTS to have it off with us, which means taking control. For example, next time he comes over, meet him at the door in a hot lingerie outfit - almost guaranteed he'll start acting right.
Cheers!
A
female
reader, kahlan +, writes (7 August 2010):
 Im in this situation myself. If he's spending all his time with you its very unlikley he's having an affair. Is he depressed? I think this is my partners problem. Also the longer this goes on, the harder it is to fix. I've also noticed the more i pushed, the more he clammed up. I ended up sitting down with him when i knew we weren't going going to be disturbed and asked him to tell me what was bothering him, as i felt as if he didn't fancy me any more and that i missed the closness that comes with making love. Try to talk to him without it turning into an argument. He told me he was beginning to feel pressured. He's still depressed, but after our talk we cuddle and kiss more. He'd stopped that before, as it used to lead to sex. After our talk, we agreed kissing and cuddling wouldn't lead to sex. I know we'll get there. So when you next have a quiet moment sit down and ask him to tell you what's bothering him.
I really hope this helps.
Love Kahlan.
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