A
female
age
36-40,
*beautifullm1nd
writes:I need some advice!, I finally found a guy who I really like he's nice, funny, romantic, well u get me, the whole package! He calls me every single night but... he has a flaw! we always make plans and he never shows this has hapened multiple times and he always calls to apologize but it makes me sooo mad because he calls so late after I'm done getting ready! And I feel like he's playing with me! I mean don't get me wrong wen we do go out its wonderfull! But I can't explain the rage I feel when he doesn't show! Even if he says he's sorry! We do live kinda far from each other but I think if he says he's coming he should! I really like him but I'm tired of it! what should I do?? Should I forgive and if I do is it the right thing to do? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, honeyross  +, writes (19 May 2007):
 It's really not fair of him to do this to you. You have every right to be angry.
He's toying with you. He thinks that you'll like him even if he messes you around, and some guys really enjoy the feeling of power this gives them.
No matter how hard it seems, the best thing to do is tell him what you feel - "I can't carry on like this - you always canceling". This will give him the chance to improve his behaviour.
If he still doesn't improve, stop listening to his excuses and find someone who deserves your attention. There are plenty of great guys who know how to treat people properly.
Good luck - you deserve better!
A
female
reader, mcbirdie +, writes (19 May 2007):
 There isn't any right or wrong when it comes to forgiving a behaviour and accepting it. There is only what suits you best and is fair to the other person.
That said, however, you should realize that if you do stay with him, you ARE accepting his behaviour and you should realize that it won't likely change. If this happens once or twice, that is life. Things come up. But if this is more regular, than he has a pattern that you don't like. He clearly does not understand either that it is something that hurts and upsets you (have you told him?) or he simply doesn't care enough that it does.
People have different levels of what they can tolerate in a relationship. If this is not something you can put up with long-term, I would tell him so. And the next time he does it, put that feeling into action and cut him loose.
Best of luck.
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