A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi Everyone,I am really confused by this girls actions. I have a new neighbor she is 20 yr old. I am 40 and single. She came over and introduced herself the first week and asked if she could her laundry since she does not have a washer/dryer. I told her no problem. I cooked dinner for her that night kinda my way of welcoming her to our small complex.We get along great and we have fun together. We hang out, talk on the phone, watch movies, go for walks on the beach, etc... I have never really thought about dating or going out with someone so much younger than myself, but I am acquiring feelings for this young women.We have talked about it a little and her point of view is (hey, if I was attracted to you I would go out with you, but I am not your just a fun guy to hang around with and I consider you friend only.)I am confused because having been around a little longer I know the difference between someone wanting to be your friend and someone liking you.Basically, her words do not match her body language or actions. She calls me several times a day to say Hi. She comes over and hangs out till midnight or so just chatting. She seems comfortable around me as she will lay on my bed and talk to me etc...I guess my question is am I being played? Is she just a big tease and knows exactly what she is doing? Or is she young and unknowing? I feel like there needs to be some responsiblity for her actions on her part.Or do I just call her bluff and chance ruining an alleged friendship? I dont know if I can keep it light and fun if she truly just wants a flirtatous friendship. I get attached to easily to people.Your help and advise would be great.Confused
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (23 October 2008):
I really don't think she is acting in a planned or malicious way. But think about it....
You are a girl, new to the area, and this guy is lovely to you, listens to you, replies to all your texts so you get chatting all day and all night, makes you feel good and says he is ok with just being friends.
What girl is going to turn that down?
She isn't mature enough to know that she is leading you on and hurting you. She just loves being around you and probably sees you like a dad or an uncle.
Ask her again about her feelings and tell her she's giving out a lot of mixed messages. If she still doesn't want to be with you then explain that you DO want to be with her and you are just going to get hurt if she continues acting like your girlfriend.
Good Luck!! xx
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