A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi there, i've had something on my mind for a few weeks and its eating at me so i thought i'd post on here and get the general consensus...I have recently got a new girlfriend, and it turns out that her most recent ex partner was into bodybuilding, he is on steroids and is at least twice the size of me. Now i don't know why this concerns me, i know it shouldn't, but it does. My girlfriend says that she doesn't normally go for the 'toughguy' type, and i have nothing to worry about... but i feel really inadequate compared to this bloke, and i don't even know the guy.To make matters worse, this guy is extremely good looking too, the kind of guy you would see on a Calvin Klein poster, and i would consider myself to be pretty average looking.I have even bought a set of weights in a desperate attempt to improve my body, but i don't have a clue what i'm doing, or even why i'm doing it - i just feel like i need to better myself to keep up with her expectations.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, kittykhaos +, writes (23 August 2009):
 Its really not about looks in a stereo typical sense my long term ex b/f is so much better looking than my last x but i was in love with the last guy because of his personality and i was attracted to him for completely different reasons. Men like that are usually aggressive arse holes who are so concerned about the way they look they hardly give there g/f the time of day. Maybe the thing she likes most about you is you don't spend hours down the gym you spend it with her. Don't feel inadequate you probably have more in personality that has will ever have in looks and that wins out any day.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2009): Foget about the ex - she's with you now. Concentrate on yourself, what makes you happy, and all will be fine. The other guy was on steroids - he was probably more insecure that you are!
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A
female
reader, kahlan +, writes (23 August 2009):
 If your girlfriend was interested in going out with a muscle bound, steriod filled pretty boy she would still be with him.Personally i think that guys who are all muscles look strange.Your g/f probably agrees as she told you he wasnt usually her type.If you want to go to go to the gym to feel better about youself then thats alright, but just to do it cos you think it will make you more attractive to her,then just remember you werent all muscley when she started seeing you.If you get obsessed about it,you might put her off.You are obviously fine as you are or she wouldnt be with you,I know you cant help the way you feel but please try and get over this insicurity.Also remember steroids have bad side effects, so the guy probably wasnt nice to be around.Try to accept that she likes you the way you are and enjoy your relationship,after all who has the need to feel jealous of whom because at the end of the day shes with you,Good Luck with this.Kahlan.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2009): If she wanted him she would still be with him. She isn't. She's with you.
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A
female
reader, noname00  +, writes (23 August 2009):
I might have an answer for you.
Don't feel incomparable to this other guy, because obviously he's an idiot for using steriods, etc.
You should be happy to know that she chose you for certain reasons, something that her ex doesn't have.
Be confident with what you have, and make her see the things that you have for her to love; Obviously, there's something.
Macho Men are nothing compared to sweet men who care (:
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