A
male
age
41-50,
*ajito_moreno
writes:Hi Guys and thank you for reading!I was with this girl for 1 year and a half. After 1 year she dumped me because she thought she did not love me anymore. I called her again and again, but nothing, she would not answer my calls. I let her go, and called her again after 2 weeks and slowly we started talking again. Finally after 2 months we got back together. The first 2 months were good but then, I felt left out of her life, she didnt express her feelings and I needed that to know where I stand, some assurance basically. Whenever I asked for that, she said that I went too quickly for her. This summer in july she visited my family for the first time and there I proposed to her and she said yes! Then, 1 week after we went on holiday, there she changed her mind , saying she was not ready or sure of her feelings. I was really disappointed. At the end of our holiday she started having some kind of panic attacks, she would be awake during the night and cry for no reasons, finding it hard to breathe. Back in London in september she saw a doctor and he advised her to see a psychologist. In September she started calling her brother in law in France who is a good psychologist. He advised her to take distance from people, from her family, and think more about herself. You have to know that her father died 5 years ago and so she slowly took the role of her father, providing financial support for her mother and being deeply emotionally committed with her and her brother who is in a mental institution. So, basically her doctor told her that she needed to take distance from that and think more about herself because in her family she was not the daughter but the father. He said that even if the man of her life would walk past her she would not see him as she is already committed with somebody, her family. she didnt say I love you for the last 4 months of our relationship. And on the 30th of november she left me again. I didnt speak to her since then, except that one day I called her by mistake thinking i was calling a friend as i deleted her phone. Since then, she called me twice in 2 days and we spoke for 4 hours. She told me so many things, why she broke up and the strangest one was that she didnt say I love you for months and her words were "I KNOW YOU LOVE ME AND YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU, BUT SOMETIMES PEOPLE BREAK UP EVEN IF THERE IS LOVE. IN THIS CASE THE REASON WHY I BROKE UP IS BECAUSE I DIDNT SEE ANY FUTURE WITH YOU. she apologized for the harm done, she admitted that she didnt live the relationship to the full, She also said things like she would cherish all these moments together and that i was somebody special for her. she said this time the break up is gonna be harder than the first time, and she sometimes wakes up hurting. she also wants to see me to give me some jackets I left in her place, to which i replied i am in no hurry to get back lets wait in a few months.she also said that she didnt want me to think that she's calling me because she wants to come back. She said she didnt want us to be friends. I also said to her that it is not a good idea to talk so much because she took a decision and that it doesnt help us to recover from the break up. did I say something good? She is so proud that she wouldnt say that she wants to come back, but i think that I deserve that after all she's done... If she's planning to come back. I dont know what she wants?So, i would like to get back with her, but how??? what should I do? Not see her if she wants to give me my stuff, not talk to her if she calls me?HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2007): Tell her to make up her mind. Together or not.If she wants to be with you, then take no excuses from her.But walk away if she is indecisive again.It sounds like this chick really has some issues she needs to get through before she can do anything. And most psychologists are full of shit anyway, so pay no attention to anything they say.So if you two want to get back together, then do it.If not walk away and never speak to her again.Flynn 24
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