A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dear cupid,Our group of friends meet up every week, once a week to a local pub for seveal years now. We all enjoyed having a few drinks and listen to local music acts. We have always welcomed our single friend's new love interests. Now it seems that one of our friends has met and moved in with someone. This someone didn't seem controling at first but now this seems to be the case!(I think this person generally feels insecure...but we were STILL nice to her!)They use to go out as a couple for several months before and after they moved in together. Then they slowly stopped going out! Now they don't go anywhere!A mutual friend says that he will hardly let him speak without her permission let alone, have a cocktail with his old friends!! I saw our friend on the street the other day and asked him if he/they were going to the pub. He said that he would like to go but we'll see how things go! I could see in his face that he would really like to go. Then changed his tune a bit to indicate that he would have to check with her before they make a decision. Should I speak to my friend about being "henpecked" or just let it go?!?! What makes a man become so "henpecked?"
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2008): It is a mix of male and female friends that go out.
Oh and BTW she is still married to someone else and living with him!
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (16 January 2008):
 A henpecked husband usually comes from a family where the mothers are dominant. These man inadvertently look for a wife which is an extension of their mothers. Their wives dominate over them and they are contented because they come from that kind of background and culture.
There is no way you can make him go against his wife.
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A
male
reader, daletom +, writes (16 January 2008):
Well, I am NOT henpecked - and I have my wife's permission to say so!
As you relate the story it does sound like the seeds of future problems are being sown. I have to wonder if he agrees with your observations, though. It could be - as suggested - that his girl just doesn't care for your group, and he has chosen her over you - and he finds it difficult to tell you this. If you care for him - as a friend - make it a point to speak to him confidentially - as a friend - and tell him of your concerns. Take his response at face value, and let him know if you see a genuine need to breach the confidentiality of your conversation.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2008): I think he's made his choice and it's not you!
My guess is that your "welcome" to the new girl wasn't as welcoming as you think. She obviously doesn't want to socialise with you and maybe he doesn't want to explain the problem to you.
You have two choices, one, let it alone, he'll leave her and come back to the pub. Two, push him to join you, she'll forbid it, they finally split because he can't bear the thought of being separated from his mates.
Either way you win.
Or possibly he's a little tired of the pub/mate/male bonding thing.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2008): maybe, your friend likes to have her in control: make the decisions, determine future social events, decide what he is to wear to work wednesday, decide whether or not he takes sugar with his tea. sometimes it is nice to let someone else do all the worrying and planning and it is nice to just go along on the ride and be pleasant to everybody. what's the harm???if he is happy, let him alone.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2008): Yes this behaviour is quite common. And then she will drop him and say he ain't the man she first met. You need to say the guys miss him.
Good luck
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A
male
reader, SamuraiRick +, writes (15 January 2008):
 It could be the guy's is actually happy and the realtionship is working in spite of how his pub hopping behavior has changed. Ask him if he is happy...if he is then this is not a problem. Some relationships are just like that and still work for the couple. She likes to be controlling...he doesn't mind it. If they are happy why change it? Its a shame he's putting his friends asside, but if this relationship is serious, he has to put her first in his life. That's the way love goes.
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