A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey DearCupid!I don't know if it's a problem as such, more a question of tact.My partner and I are quite musical but the trouble is we have two different specialities - his is folk and mine is classical. He strums, and I sing. We formed a two-piece last August and have done a few songs and played a few open mics. This January I decided to pick up the mandolin so that a) I could learn something new and b) we could do more together musically. The trouble is, I - after a lot of practicing - got to a certain point - and for a month this year we split up, and I couldn't even bear to pick it up. We are - I feel - stronger than ever before, but now he is very loathe to collaborate with me at all, even with me singing (my speciality). He cites my abilities (or lack thereof) and my limitations as the reasons he will not collaborate with me and just tells me impatiently to practice.What I have tried to explain to him before is that whenever met with this, it tends to discourage me and makes me feel quite depressed, but I have trouble expressing this to him without making it sound like an attack or a guilt trip, neither of which is the intention.He tells me to concentrate on my strong point - my classical singing - but I would love the opportunity to develop another musical side with him. The trouble is, I feel so demotivated. How do I broach this subject with him?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (7 December 2012):
Suppose that HE was a wizard of an automobile mechanic, and YOU struggled putting gasoline in your car at a self-service filling station. Would you and he have any trouble figuring out how to handle that?
If "yes," then apply the same reasoning to your question, herein, and I believe you will have "the answer."
Good luck...
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2012): "How do I broach this subject with him?"
You don't OP, you find another more open minded person or group more open to exploring or even teaching you new styles of music and collaboration.
He's an elitist OP, he's closed minded and frankly he's being a bit of an impatient dick about it all.
OP you and he are the very definition of 'artistic differences' some people just don't work well together in things like this.
Why is it so important he be the one you collaborate with? if he doesn't want to help you explore your creative talent and broaden your musical abilities then go find others more open to that. There's tonnes of people around that love to perform together.
OP he already tried performing with you and the fact he keeps implying you're shit should be enough for you to let this go and find others to play with.
From what I hear it's much easier to move from classical into jazz and a hell of a lot of fun too. Why not explore jazz or even folk with another folk musician instead with people you work better with?
You just don't work well with this guy. he makes you feel less and you end up guilt tripping or attacking him unintentionally. I mean come on, how is that going to work?
It won't, you need to find others you work better with simple as that.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (6 December 2012):
 The only way you can explain to him is to tell him the truth, if you do not have his support do to it with him then practice on your own separately. It might just be a case that this is his escape and something that he likes to do alone, and if that is the case then you should allow him to do that and find another person you can team up with to play or even go solo.
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