A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:So I've been hanging around this amazing woman for about 2 years now, about 4 months ago she broke up with her boyfriend and I told her a few days ago that i had a crush on her and really liked her, but she had an EWWWWW look on her face and said she just sees me as a friend and cares for me like a brother. The problem is i know i'll never be any more than a friend with her, but i care so much about her and can't get her out of my mind. Every day i wake up thinking about her and every night i fall asleep thinking about her. I wish I was something more to her. I'm happy she wasn't mad at me for asking her out and has remained my friend. I need her in my life she is the only thing i have left, even if I'm just her friend but it's just so depressing knowing i don't mean anything more to her. I'm just allways allways the friend never anything more. So i guess my question would be how can i get over her? How can i veiw her as just a friend when i admire her sooo much and I do need to keep her as a friend as she is my world.
View related questions:
broke up, crush Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2009): Hey.. thanks for the advice back, i totally agree with what you say.. just not sure i can tell him yet. I try and think of him as just my friend and that i'll not have as much contact.. then like in your situation its the other person making the move to get in touch.I hope everything works out for you, you may meet someone who wants a proper relationship, then your friendship will seem not such a major thing in your life.I KNOW at the moment you can't imagine this happening and no one is going to make you feel the way you do about her... but heres us both hoping.Good luck.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2009): to jayney -I say she is my whole world because there is no one else there I can count on, and stalkerish? no because she contacts me first almost 95+% of the time.I have tryed to look at it the other way around but it doesn't help much.To the anonymous female reader -Thanks for your input, and I do see her as a real person I know her flaws, bad habbits and other little quirks about her but again still really care for her because she is such a caring loving person and for that guy you want to ask out, you should just do it if it is a good friendship you'll still stay friends(atleast I did in my case) you don't want to go threw life woundering what could have been.......
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2009): Hi.. I think you have to look at it in a positive way. You've had the courage to tell her how you feel and even tho the feelings aren't mutual you've still got her as a friend.
Theres no magic answer of how to stop feeling the way you do.. but as time passes it will get easier. I'm in a similiar position to you except I haven't got the courage to tell this guy how I feel, in case in ruins our friendship.
I think when you feel like this its too easy to see only the good things about a person, try to see them as the real person. Just try and step back a bit and make the most of having someone you care about so much in your life, hard i know.. but it'll help you stay sane.
...............................
A
female
reader, Jayney Y  +, writes (18 September 2009):
 OK, first of all.....no offence intended, but you're sounding a bit stalkerish!
There is no reason to make someone else "your world" unless they give you reason to, which means they actually tell you that they can't live without you or some such stuff. It kinda doesn't sound like she's done that. It sounds like that's just how you're perceiving the whole tihng.
The best way to get over it? Stop thinking that this is a love carved in stone, because it isn't! Try and think about the whole thing as if it was the other way around, as if it was some girl who was in love with you and YOU didn't feel the same way, but they wouldn't leave you alone.....
I can't think of any other way of explaining it. I hope you are OK. Best of luck getting over it, :)
...............................
|
