A
female
age
36-40,
*ede2minglewitu
writes:I found out I am pregnant, for most this news would be exciting and happy as it should be for me. I was indecisive about what i wanted to do and when i decided i knew i had to tell the "sperm donor".The relationship I had with this person was at first only about sex, but i messed up and caught feelings. Anyways the day I found out about my pregnancy I was confused and scared of how he would react. I decided to tell him and he made me feel as if I was trying to trap him, which is not my intention at all. Yes, i do love him but I know I could never be with him because he has loyalty issue and cannot stay faithful so I gave up on that thought months ago. He went on saying that he is not ready for no kids and i completely respected that but told him i was not asking for an approval. He then said to go have a baby with someone who wants to be with me and how i'm trying to ruin his life and being grimey. I don't understand I told him I want nothing from him I dont even care if he take care of his child or not i just think its the right thing to tell someone they fathered your child. Now my question is "Am I doing the wrong thing in considering my own feelings before his?" Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2008): This is the type of guy who should be forcibly neautered.
He has a child. Plain and simple and no legal document is ever gonna change that. No amount of dodging responsibility is ever gonna make a a difference.
Take him to court and force him to face up to his duties now as a father.
You didn't trap him. He trapped himself when he decided to shirk his responsibilities.
Idiots like this give real men a bad name.
Flynn 24
A
female
reader, luvy duvy +, writes (30 November 2008):
 Ok...that sounded like a soap opera, but you did the right thing by telling him. As for your question it's a yes and no thing...you should consider both his and your feelings equally because you are the mother and he is the father.
As you said "I don't care if he take care of his child or not" I don't understand his problem when you were cleary telling him that this is your child, I thought you should know, but it's perfectly fine if you don't want to take part in the child's life.
You did right by explaining to him what you think, and by not starting an unhealthy relationship with him.
Your fine!! Good luck with the baby! ;-)
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A
female
reader, SugarCookie +, writes (30 November 2008):
As long as you are not trying to force him into being a part of this childs life then it is your body and your life and your choice. If you want this baby then it is your right to have it.
To be on the safe side try taking him to court after the baby is born and have him sign his rights away that way one day when you meet the man of your dreams things dont get sticky with this guy. It also makes it where that guy could adopt you child and your child could have a real father.
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