A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:Hi,Went to a conference in Hawaii and met another professional who lives in another country. We really hit it off in just 3-4 days and spent a lot of time together. I felt we connected at a deep level. Very aggressive about wanting to have sex and I had to very firmly say no. When I told him I was recovering from a divorce and needed more time before intimacy, he seemed to cool off. Has my business card but has not called me after conference. Seems to me now he was looking for a fling but can't get him out of my mind.Any suggestions?
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThx for suggestions. Much appreciated.
Older sister, just curious - why stay away from dating sites?
A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (23 August 2010):
 At times, dating can be like job interviews for a husband. Lol. Do some light, casual dating for now, since you're going to be a little rusty but you'll get the hang of it once again. Do a mental checklist of what you're now looking in a man, then start picking apart these guys on the first date. I usually run over what topics I want to discuss then hit them with a whirlwind of questions. To find them, my older friend does this fish in a pond dating website, it's something like that, i could ask her if you were interested, I've picked up waiters, to physical trainers (but beware of those often it's just a fling) to guys in grocery stores, my guy friend's friend, where ever. You can pick up guys at a bar or at a social gathering...The bar part isn't ideal because most are looking to have fun but not all. Best of luck, you'll do great!
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for sound advice!
Was married at age 20 to a jerk for many, many years and certainly don't need any more in my life. Had 4 children from marriage and youngest is off to college in a week. Have not really dated since my divorce. Any suggestions on how to look for decent relationships. Am a financially independent professional.
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A
female
reader, Angelripper  +, writes (23 August 2010):
 As you said, he was looking for a fling, he probably thought nothing more of it. I think you should get him off your brain, take some time to heal from your divorce, and then move onto someone else ... but definitely not him. He lives in another country, and it's very difficult to sustain a long distance relationship.
Besides, if he wanted to contact you to be with you, or if he was looking for anything more, he would have called you by now.
Best of luck to you,
-The Resident Metalhead
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2010): If he had felt as deep a connection as you did, I think he would have called by now (depending on how long ago the conference was). I agree with you in that he was probably just looking for a fling. I'm sorry. Maybe it would help to just remember that he lives in another country, and even if a relationship did start, how could things work out? Seems like you need more time to get back into the dating game; and good for you for saying no when you weren't ready. Take some more time for yourself, and then find a guy a little closer to home who is looking for the same kind of relationship you are. ;)
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (23 August 2010):
You said it yourself he was just looking for a fling. You're in a delicate, vulnerable state of mind right now with the recent divorce. Let's face the facts, the man is on a different island, he was very aggressive to get into your pants, you gave him your business card and you haven't heard a word from him. Is he going to call? No, all he wanted was one thing and he didn't get it. Time for him to move on to find a woman who will give it up. But, applaud yourself for resisting him and being another notch on the bedpost now get to the next step and get over him!
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