A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I m 21 year old...i have lost my virginity to one i loved...he was my first but even then he feels that my vagina was bit loose and he could penetrate easily(but i was virgin and had a lot of pain n even he couldnt penetrate so easily)..now he has a doubt that i was not a virgin when we did for the 1st time...we had sex more that 6 times by now..since he wants to break up our relationship he is blaming on me...now my marriage is being fixed with other guy...i cant tell him the truth about my ex and i m scared if he notice that i m not a virgin...how to pretend myself as virgin ? Or any suggestions to make my vagina tight as it was before when i was virgin...
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male
reader, no nonsense Aidan  +, writes (19 September 2015):
What a horrible situation you are in. You say your marriage is being “fixed.” I assume this means being arranged? I can’t pretend that I am from the same culture and that I understand the implications of your not being a virgin (for us this wouldn’t be a big deal), but if it is possible for you to tell the man you are to marry the truth, I think you should. If he can’t look past this fact, he’s not worthy of you. A person isn’t a better or worse person because they’ve had sexual experiences. It’s not good to enter a relationship on a lie. If you really can’t tell the truth or walk away, then if pretending is a very last resort, please remember that there is no way to know for sure that a woman isn’t a virgin. The hymen can often be broken by trauma or injury, so is not an indicator of virginity. Not all women bleed on their first occasion either. The fact is, there is no way to prove that you’re not a virgin. That’s why your ex got it wrong, and why the person you are going to marry can’t prove that you’re not a virgin now even if you’re not tight. He can, of course, choose not to believe it. I really think you need to talk to any family and friends who can support you if this marriage doesn’t go ahead, so that you can tell the truth and know you’ll be looked after whatever happens. If you absolutely have to avoid admitting that you’re not a virgin, you still need to make sure you’re supported if he chooses not to believe you.
I wish you all the very best.
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