A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Need help letting go...Been w boyfriend for 9 years.We see each other once a month for 5 days (LDR) he moved 8 months ago for job. I have put alot of effort into this relationship from the start. Did not move down w him because of my job and he would not commit fully.He recently suggested that we see other people, he said it's too hard to be alone since i wont come down. He still wants to see me, open relationship, I went along with it at first. I tried dating other men but could not because I care for him too much and it hurts. He told me tonight in phone conversation that he is going on a date and it's killing me inside. I need help on how to let go. I cannot handle an open relationship. Holidays are coming up and its hard to think that I wont be with him. Please help me be strong Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Mjfbla +, writes (29 November 2010):
 Well you need to tell him this. Tell him how much it bothers you even if you already has. If he still wants to date others even after he finds out how much it bothers you, then he isnt right for you to start with. Then you need to end it. Thats like him saying i want you but i also wanna do stuff with this other chick so put your feelings aside. Do what's best for you.
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (29 November 2010):
 I was just discussing open relationship with my boyfriend today. The rules are the following:
You should both feel secure in a committed relationship, if not living together, married. You should feel a special bond that no one else could replace you, even if one of you falls in love by accident with the other.
Love is infinite. His love for you should not diminish because he has love/lust for the other.
An open relationship should never be a cop out, an excuse to look for a replacement.
You also decide what your boundaries are. For example, if you are living together, no staying overnights. It's just sex, so no intimacy, no spooning no cuddling afterwards.
Finally be prepared that rules are meant to be broken. Sometimes the point of an open relationship is to get it out of your system, as long as the desire lasts. At the end of a busy day one just wants to melt into the arms of a loved one, without hearing drama, or endless questions of what you did the other night.
If he can't marry you. Tell him to shut up about the idea and dump him. Find a guy closer in your area.
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A
male
reader, ljhenhmla +, writes (29 November 2010):
it just another way of him saying he wants to be with other people and still be able to hook up with you when he get back. don't be a back up plan. if he want be faithful to u as you are being to him.
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