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He wanted me to stick my finger up his bum! Why?

Tagged as: Dating, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (27 November 2008) 8 Answers - (Newest, 5 October 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, anonymous writes:

my bf and i was having sex the other day when he wanted me to stick my finger up his bum, why did he want me to do this, he said he liked it mut my nails where to long, i was going to do it again last nite but he said no

why did he want me to do it in the first place for me not to do it again

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A reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2010):

Your boyfriend obviously gets pleasure from the feeling of something up his anus. Many men (and women too) feel this way and it is not a sign of homosexuality. The anal area apparently has many nerve endings and when these are stimulated they give rise to pleasurable sensations provided the stimulation is very very gentle.

The anus is near the penis in men and the vagina in women so the pleasurable feeling is easy to understand. It is quite possible to have an anal orgasm without touching any other part of the body so it can be seen how sensitive to sexual pleasure it is.

Generally, if bowel movements are regular and there is no urge to pay a visit, the anal canal will be perfectly clean. It is the rectum that stores fecal material ready for elimination.

It is a pity that society rates anything to do with a bottom, vagina or penis as disgusting and anyone expressing an interest is immediately branded as a pervert or similar. The fact that to many people, the anus and anal area feels so good indicates that it is somewhere that likes to be visited. Another indication of this fact is that every sex shop sells anal stimulaters called butt plugs (a horrible word that I think originates from America).

Anyone wishing to investigate the feeling that their anus can give them should, in my opinion, be very careful. the best thing to use is a standard length enema nozzle, or rubber enema catheter, well lubricated with KY jelly or similar, liberally applied and gently inserted into the anus. The only problem with an enema nozzle is that it has a hole down its length and this can get clogged with lubricant so it may be best to fill the hole with a sealant. Alternatively, a small anal plug can be bought off the internet or from a sex shop but make sure it is one that is made of non toxic material and has no rough edges to it. Aneros make a device called a peridis which is made to go up bums and is claimed to be theraputic. It is expensive but can last a lifetime and can be worn up there all day and sat upon without harm. By contracting and relaxing the anal sphincter with the peridis in place, they claim it will move gently in and out a small amount and will give rise to a pleasurable feeling.

On from here, Aneros make a prostate stimulater for men which is curved to stimulate the prostate to orgasm simply by contracting and relaxing the anus. Also many men and women enjoy having enemas for sexual stimulation as they enjoy the feel of the catheter in their bottoms and they enjoy the feeling of the warm water going up inside them and the slight feeling of cramping as they fill up. The only thing here is that enemas can be very messy (apart from the toilet visit)as it is easy to spill water during the administration. The answer is to follow instructions and make sure the tube does not slide its way out. Probably a higginsons syringe (it has a bulb to pump the water up)is the safest method of having an enema as the water container can be placed on the floor.

All this is advanced stuff and probably not of interest, but it may be useful background information. Finally, you may be surprised to know that many men, and some women, like to sniff dirty knickers when having sex as this is a big turn on. The smell of dried urine and vaginal juices and even the brown smears from the wearers bottom are enjoyable. So also is the smell on a finger that has touched an anus.

Nothing I have said is to be taken as a recommendation, I have merely tried to answer the enquirer and to give some background information which I hope may be helpful.

It is the old story of "There's nowt so queer as folk." but it does demonstrate how widely we differ in our likes and dislikes when it comes to sex.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2010):

As has been said, many men, and women, like the feeling of something pushed up their bottoms. At the same time, many do not and many simply have never tried it because they think it is too dirty.

Regarding you boy friend,you can compromise by pushing something up his bottom that is similar to a finger and then gently stroking it back and forth without taking it out. I can assure you that he will love this if he is anally orientated and if the object is nice and slippery. Something like an enema nozzle will do. Something smooth, firm and about the size and girth of a cigarette. A smooth round plastic ball pen, not the pointed end, may do or perhaps a tooth brush handle of a suitable shape.

You can get anal "butt plugs" which are designed to be pushed up bottoms. You can find them on the Internet but make sure the size is suitable.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2008):

The reason he wanted it one night and not another is probably because it was all clear and clean up there that night, whereas it may not have been the next night (as he wasn't prepared thinking you wouldn't want to).

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A female reader, aunty_rach United Kingdom +, writes (27 November 2008):

male G spot!

use a condom over your finger. use plenty of lube and enter his ass slowly. if you really dont like it, then tell him and don't do it. after all sex is a 2 way pleasure thing. it's not all about him! but give it ago and c how you go.

his Gspot is located about an inch or so up his ass towards his belly button. apparently a male G spot orgasm is real intense for them. so enjoy seeing him cum if you find it.

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A male reader, InterCntlCHmp Canada +, writes (27 November 2008):

Finger in the bum can be lots of fun; especially during a BJ.

Lube up[ and put a condom over your fingers; use 1 finger at first and then two; insert and make a 'come hither' motion gently massaging his prostate. He'll go nuts a have a very powerful Orgasm.

Have fun; you should be happy that you are in a relationship with open sexual communication; try things out and enjoy; be healthy sane and safe. Sex is supposed to be fun and we're supposed to try new things!!!

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A female reader, Kathh United Kingdom +, writes (27 November 2008):

Kathh agony auntMen are creatures who like to experiment so he was maybe more in love with the idea rather than the reality.

Talk to him! If he was keen on the idea it could be that the nails were too long so suggest cutting them.

Must be short short for safety reasons and use lube, ensuring its a brand suitable for condoms.

Some men love having things in their bottom and some don't so its a case oof talking honestly about it

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A female reader, MissUnique United Kingdom +, writes (27 November 2008):

MissUnique agony auntMaybe it was just a spur of the moment thing and he might not want to do it now. Talk to him about it, when you aren't having sex, and see why he wanted you to do it.

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A female reader, petina1 United Kingdom +, writes (27 November 2008):

petina1 agony auntHe was obviously in the throws of passion when he said it. Sex can be different each time and maybe he didnt get anything out of it like he thought he would the first time so he decided not to go there again. The only rule in sex is if both parties don't object to what they are being asked to do. Don't dwell on it, just enjoy yourself and things will be okay. hope this helps.

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