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female
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*ngaged
writes: I looked through my finace's phone b/c I was suspicious of him cheating and found that he had text messages to a person saying they should hang out, and used the word sweetie. I asked who it was later, not mentioning the message, and he said a guy friend. The next day the name on his phone book was erased, along with the text message. I have seeen other instances where he is erasing messages as soon as he gets them b/c he knows I am looking. What should I do? Is he cheating? He treats me like a queen and I know he loves me to death. I don't want to bring this up only to find out that I was completely wrong.
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female
reader, StarNews +, writes (12 January 2006):
 The little weasel is covering his tracks. If you are suspicious, then chances are good that he is doing something wrong. Here some common reactions you might hear once you confront him: "you're just being paranoid" or, "I'm tired of you not trusting me".
If you really want to find out, wait until you get his cell phone bill. It will have all the numbers that he texted. Be prepared, because once you confront him, you are going to see a whole new person, and he is going to make you feel guilty for insinuating that he was cheating. He may say it was innocent flirting. Thats another lame excuse. To me, cheating is anything you wouldn't do in front of someone you are committed to.
You say he is treating you like a queen. He is probably a smooth player. Once the trust is gone, no matter how harmless the action may seem to you, you can never completely get it back. Little lies turn into big lies and he will mentally drain you. You are going to spend your time playing detective going thru his things whenever he is not looking or not around. So you have to decide, when you find out the harsh truth, whether you want to stay in the relationship or not.
A
female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (12 January 2006):
Whether he is cheating or not, this relationship doesn't have a whole lot of trust, maybe that is because he has given you reasons to doubt him, but either way its not great.
The fact that as soon as you questioned him about the message and the next day it was deleted, seems very suspicous to me. You really do need to talk about this. In fact, you have to! You won't be satisfied until you do.
You can't let that feeling of fearing being wrong brought up, do you want to be right, or do you want a good relationship? You can't live bu allways trying to be right, because being right doesn't always make you happy, because you cant always be right and then times you arent, you will just ignore it, and thigns in the relationship will get worse. This needs to be talked about. Tell him how you would feel, if he was cheating and that you would like to know, not because you wnat to dump him, but because there is obisouly something in the relationship that he is not happy with if hes cheating!
I suggest you work through these issues of trust in the relationship before you get married.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2006): What made you sus initially? Has he been spending a lot of time out or acting strange. What lead you to the phone messages?
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2006): Why were you going through his messages to start with?
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2006): I dont know, sounds like he might be , i have had similar stuff happen like that with my boyfriends phone, but i do think he is hiding something as he would not have erased these messages if he wasnt. also id check his phone book to see if their is any new names that have been entered in prehaps under a males name that you dont know. but id investigate abit more into it, sometimes guys can be just kidding arond and call each other stupid names like "sweetie". Next time you see them number id just call it then hung up, if a females voice answers you know his not being truthful.
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