A
female
age
36-40,
*eccamega
writes:I've been seeing a guy for about 2 months. Today he told me that he couldn't do this anymore and isn't ready for a relationship. Why didn't he just say so, in the first place? Why did he lead me on for 2 months? He promised me that we'd go out this week, but he never answered back and kept ignoring me. And he promised that we'd go for a drve and stay in the country this weekend. He only said this last week. I feel really used. He wanted me to be his girlfriend. But he always wanted me to come over late at night and stay over. And not even go out on dates. I felt more like a friends with benefits than a girlfriend.
View related questions:
friend with benefits Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, meccamega +, writes (8 October 2010):
meccamega is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNo, I wasn't sleeping with him to get a commitment. He told me at the start that he wants us to be more than friends with benefits. He said he wanted me to be his girlfriend. We did go on dates, but not often enough. I did go on dates with him and not sleep with him aswell. Next time I don't want to rush things though.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2010): How did he use you?
If you've been sleeping with him without a relationship commitment in order to get one from him, then I think this is more like equal parts using each other.
...............................
A
female
reader, FluffyPie  +, writes (7 October 2010):
 Have you ever went to his place, slept with him? Because if you haven't, it's pretty obvious why he dumped you. He himself said that he isn't ready for a relationship. We all know that a relationship requires feelings, being serious about the other one, responsibility, trying to gain each others trust and something new to discover everyday. He's not able to have it, since a relationship doesn't mean sleeping over after 2 months.
I'm sorry to hear that, but it's normal for him to behave this way. Maybe he realized you don't meet his expectations, he realized that you are serious about him and he withdraw, because he can't get into your pants that easily.
Don't feel down or depressed because of this. Would you stay with a guy who doesn't love you rather than having a man who is able to appreciate your real value? You are young, people come and people go from our lives.
...............................
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (7 October 2010):
I'm afraid you were just someone to use to him. Good relationships start with dates, not with nights over. I think a lot of women are sometimes very naive when it comes to men, and they don't make the man work enough to prove that he's a trustworthy guy who isn't out to use them. Your error was that you were spending nights out with him, when you needed to be insisting upon dates and such. I'm not blaming you, because it has to be said he was a liar and a user. But your story is a good reminder to other women that you all need to make a man work. Offer too much too quickly, and we'll take it. Spend time getting over him, and in the future, suggest dates, suggest time together that doesn't involve sleeping over until you know the guy and he's proven he will stick around. This won't put all users off, but your more likely to meet a better guy by just taking time.
...............................
|
