A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:don't know what to do here. the man i've been sleeping with for four years jusy recently cursed me out like a dog for coming down to his told me to leave him alone and to stay away from him. i in turn sent him a letter saying i was sorry for making the foolish mistake of doing what i did and for him to accept the apology. it's been a week now and i haven't heard a word back. i don't want to read anything negative into this but until i hear different all i guess i can think is that he nver wants to see me again.i am wrong for thinking like this or should i still wait and see what happens? Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, rcn + ♥, writes (20 July 2008):
 Your not in the wrong for going there to discuss it. He's completely in the wrong for the way he talked to you. Not a nice person, and extremely disrespectful.
I agree you need assistance in building your self esteem. If I were you, after the way he spoke, don't have anything to do with him. Start working on your self esteem, and building your confidence. You need to be strong with who you are, and not take this behavior for anyone. You determine how others treat you, and you have the right to be treated with respect always.
A
male
reader, Collaroy  + ♥, writes (20 July 2008):
 Oh dear,
you sound like you have absolutely no self confidence, why on earth did you go crawling back to him.
You have to pick yourself up and realise that if a man abuses you after he cheats on you he is a scumbag not worthy of your love. The sooner you realise that the sooner you can heal and move on. There are men out there who will show you respect, this one won't and for what it's worth he will do the same to his new girl. Men like this are creatures of habit going through life creating turmoil and heartbreak in all their relationships. Best to put this one behind you mate.
good luck.
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A
female
reader, baby duck + ♥, writes (20 July 2008):
 What you did was wrong. However, the fact that he slept with another woman AND treated you rudely means that if you are healthy, you should not want him back ... you should not wait for him.
That's the rational stuff. Of course, your emotions will cry for him. The thing is, you deserve better. You deserve to be with a man that wants to be with you. Period.
The fact that he does not want you anymore does not make him a 'bad' guy. The fact that you are so focused on him instead of yourself shows that you need to break away from him and be alone to heal and grow.
It's tough, I won't lie. But as long as you want him, and especially if he comes back and you accept him, you have no hope for true happiness. You will always be second fiddle to him.
Create your peace.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionall i did was go down to his job when i knew i shouldn't have to speak to him about the other woman i found out he was sleeping with while he was sleeping with me. was i wrong for doing this? yes i was and i knew better. still in all i didn't deserve to be spoken to like that.
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A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (20 July 2008):
 Well it depends on what you did. If you did something really bad, chances are he is serious and does not want to see you again. If he is just angry, give him his space.
-Frank B Kermit
www.frankadviceforwomen.com
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A
male
reader, rcn + ♥, writes (20 July 2008):
Is this just someone you've been seeing, or do you have a serious relationship with? Where did you go, which upset him? A bit more information about the type of relationship you had with him would be helpful. Thanks.
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