A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:Dear all, i would appreciate any advise however harsh.I met my partner 4 years ago when he was working in my area, (he's a contractor)we clicked and got on really well despite our age difference, he's 60 17 years my senior. The problem i have is that even after 4 years i know very little about him, i know he's been married twice has 4 children and he says he now lives with his sister up north, however he has never given me a home address or phone number, has never invited me to his home or to meet his grown up children!He goes off on holiday abroad doesn't tel me he's going let alone invite me along.He works all over the country and when in my area visits me which is on average once every 6 weeks, he has only stayed for 1 whole weekend in all that time, he usually has some excuse to leave early. He phones me daily,and very attentative when with me.In the past i received texts from his daughter telling me to leave him alone, apparently she got the number from his phone(she's 21) when i asked him to tell her to back off he was very defensive.I have tried to talk to him and tel him how i feel but he just clams up and tels me to take each day as it comes. i even tried to finish the relationship but after a few days he won me over.What should i do, i love this man but cant really see a future, please someone help me sort my life out.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you eyeswideopen for taking the time to respond, i have asked myself the same questions over and over, and him, ofcause he denies he's married or in any other relationship, if i'm honest i think he's a bit of a player, no committment but keeps me hanging on.
He behaves the way he does because i let him, i just have to find the strength to give him an ultimatum and stick to my decision, lifes too short and to precious to live it in doubt. Reading my own letter has made things so much clearer, cant beleive i've let it go on for so long.
He's coming down next friday, if i dont get the answers i need then i'm out of there. i'll keep you posted.
Thanks again.
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (30 May 2007):
 The reason you can't see a future with this guy is probably because he doesn't see one either. Are you sure he isn't married? Why would his daughter tell you to leave him alone? If you want a future with someone you better start looking around, this guy is going to only keep giving you what he's giving now.
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