A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:A long time ago my bf cheated on me emotionally. We decided to make a go of it and he changed and stopped seeing girls one-on-one so that I did not have to feel insecure. A year later a girl asked if him and her could go for coffee and he suggested a double date to her, where I go and her bf goes. Is this his way of making sure I am not insecure? Or is he just so desperate to see her but doesn't want to upset me?
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2011): It's his way of meeting a girl as a friend but sticking to the rules you set out in order to keep your trust.
OP if he really wanted to see this girl in any kind of romantic way he could have just not said anything to you at all and/or said it was a male friend or there was a group of them going or something.
There is nothing going on here, she asked him to meet up for coffee for whatever reason and while he thinks this is a good idea he wants to bring you as a show of good faith to you, he doesn't want you to get the wrong idea and by meeting her you'll be able to see that there's nothing going on.
No offence OP but I find it very strange that you think this is some kind of ploy to get close to her, you seem exceptionally insecure to me. I mean fair enough you don't want him meeting girls one on one, that was a condition of regaining your trust after what he did, but it seems to me after 1 year you still don't trust him. You don't even trust him to meet girls with you. Honestly OP that's a bit over the top.
You might want to to think about relaxing a bit more about things. Fair enough no one on ones, but even when he sticks to this rule and wants you to come along you go nuts about it. Sorry OP but you're now moving from being understandably to cautious to irrationally restrictive. You don't want him meeting any girls ever, even when you're around or even when he says he'll only meet them if you come along too. That's suffocatingly insecure.
Has he done anything since this happened a year ago to make you doubt his trust? Is there a reason you you still feel this way? Because honestly OP a year is a long time to cut him a bit of slack and start trusting him again if he's done nothing to abuse that since then.
A
female
reader, RebbieHoneybee  +, writes (22 July 2011):
Hello there!
To answer your question at the bottom: it could mean both. But seeing as he stopped seeing girls one-on-one for YOU, i think its more likely he just doesnt want to make you feel insecure! but there's always a chance that it could be the other option, although i do doubt that. See where it goes :)
Good luck! xx
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