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He stares and makes comments on other girls.

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Question - (11 November 2007) 7 Answers - (Newest, 12 November 2007)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

My boyfriend and I have been together for a long time now going on three years. for the past year whenever we go out in public he stars and makes comments constantly about other females, in the begining it was a glance here and there, and a small comment, but latley it's long stars and curde comments I would rather not hear, like " Damn she has a nice ass" or " Umm I bet she's got some goood pussy". Then when he knows I heard him its a laugh and play it off, as if It was a joke, I've told him time and time, it hurts my feelings and I know if I heard him chances are so did she, or atleast caught him staring at her. Even still this is a problem, and nothing is changing, why do men do this? It's not just a public thing, its MTV BET anything with girl's, he feels he must comment outloud and make sure I know about it.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2007):

Actually most guys DON'T do that infront of their girlfriends, just so you know, so don't fool yourself. Your boyfriend just happens to be a scumbag to be saying that infront of you. That is disrespectful, foul. I mean he has no respect for you. The first time he made that comment you should have told him off and walked out of that place and never looked back. You should have never tolerated him speaking like that infront of you. And most guys DON'T do that in front of their girls. Maybe around their friends but never infront of their girlfriends. So if you think this is a 'normal' guy thing you are in another universe. If I were you I would definitely find myself a new boyfriend.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2007):

He's obviously a pig who thinks its ok to appraise women based purely n the way they look. Tell him to grow up...the advice from the girl below couldnt be wrse...just because sunset decides to accept this complete lack of respect does not mean you should...you sound like you have enough self esteem to know you deserve better...contrary to what the man who said he does it all the time its not about a woman having self esteem issues (in fcat te ones who put up with it are the ones with self esteem problems) or feeling secure in the relationshp........its about respect!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2007):

My bloke does this with me and it really got on my tits at first. Now i just laugh it off. Why get all ratty and twisted about it. He loves you, goes home with you and he sleeps with you not them. Just see the funny side and dont let it get under your skin. There are some fantastic looking girls out there, that a fact of life and if you cringe every time a one walks by and he comments on her then your life is going to be a misery. You cannot dump him because he looks and comments. BUT if he touches then he is kicked to the kerb!! Lighten up girl and watch the next gorgeous ass go by - On a bloke, of course, that will give him something to think about.

take care

xx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2007):

I agree with Phil. I have done this with my wife for years. She doesn't mind because we feel secure with each other. She even tells me things when we are shopping like, "Check out the pair on that babe in the next aisle." She used to do this before we were married. She even liked when a woman would flirt with me and I would like it if a guy would flirt with her. I guess we would think, "Yeah, eat your heart out." If you are both secure with each other, I see no harm in it. If you are not secure with each other, then it could be hurtful.

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A female reader, hello1 United Kingdom +, writes (11 November 2007):

hello1 agony auntHe's being very disrespectful, my b/f has never said those things to me about another girl, yeah I catch him looking sometimes but he never tells me how the girl is hot or anything. I don't know why your still with a guy who says things like that too you

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2007):

This might sound silly to you, but to my mind he's feeling more secure in his relationship with you, so much so that he thinks he can make comments like this without it bothering you, knowing that you have a far better ass etc. than anyone else in his eyes.

What's MTV BET? You've lost me there.

Phil

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom + , writes (11 November 2007):

kenny agony auntI know you have been with him for nearly 3 years, but personally i think he really needs to grow up abit, he is acting like an immature kid. When you say " why do men do this ", well i can honestly say i would never say those kind of things in front of a girlfriend, thats just so disrespectful, and i bet half the guys on this site woulden't either. If you really do like him then talk to him and tell him its got to stop, if still proceeds to disrespect you then i would seriously consider walking away from the relationship altogether.

All the best x

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