A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Thank you for your help but I have more to add. My parents are both loving and although sometimes cringeworthy, they act like love sick teenages and they have been together for 33 years. I have longed for someone to be silly like that with me but all I get is him shugging me off and and saying "you know I don't like that". I have to ask for a cuddle and if I ask for a foot massage or something like that, he rolls his eyes and groans at me. Our physical relationship has almost always been a once a month affair and I would like to feel loved. Words are not enough and I really don't know what to do for the best.Please help.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, DV1  +, writes (22 June 2007):
 I know that this may sound harsh, but a relationship requires two people. If he groans at the mere thought of keeping you satisfied, then you shouldn't be with him. That's a one-sided relationship, and you should leave him immediately. It's not healthy, and it's not worth wasting precious time on something that's not making you happy.
DV1
A
female
reader, RubyBooth +, writes (22 June 2007):
What would be best for you? you need affection and intimacy and if you deny yourself this then you wont be happy, Your partner has told you he does not share these needs. Talk to him, tell him that cannot spend your whole life without physical affection and love, perhaps there is a reason for his behaviour, he may be willing to work on it. If he is unwilling or unable to change, then it's time to move on in preparation for meeting the man that you are supposed to be with, work on your self esteem, get busy loving yourself, and you will meet him when the time is right.
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A
female
reader, Artemesian  +, writes (22 June 2007):
 I'm sorry to hear you aren't feeling loved by your partner. Honestly from what you have said it doesn't sound very promising..everyone is different of course but to have such an aversion to doing something to make you feel happy and loved, well what does your heart tell you about that? You are obviously a caring person who needs to feel that back from your partner (not many people don't!) I don't feel right telling you things to do but honestly from an outsiders perspective it doesn't sound like a promising relationship if he is so unloving. You deserve much better.
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