A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My bf of 7 months, said to me the other weekend that we need to spend time apart so like instead of me seeing him everyday i will see him on the weekends, tuesdays and thursdays and sometimes fridays nites after we both finish work,we use to argue a lot and he says hes tryinh to save our relationship, and hoping we dont argue that much, well last week it was the first week and we didnt argue,im alowed to speak on the phone thats good, But ive also mentioned it to my m8 and she says its really strange of him to say this out of nowhere as we practuclly lived together, and she said not to trust him with his ex the mother of his 2yr old son, should i be worried or trust him with what he says about trying to save the relationship, i dont want to lose him i care to much?please,please helpxxxxxxxxxx
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female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (8 October 2008):
 Only you know if you can trust him, but assuming his age is similar to yours, its usual for young people to like some space. I suggested this to a guy I was dating once, and he took offence. But if you're arguing, like we were, it could be because you are too in each others faces. In the long run you will need to be able to see each other more, because you dont see co-habitting couples having a couple of days a week apart as a rule! But at your ages, its healthy to have time out on your own. Sounds sensible to me. Only you know if the ex could be playing a part.
C xxxx
A
female
reader, chandra Mcmillan +, writes (8 October 2008):
 Listen hun this is something that has no reall answere either he is a cheat and he wants you and the other woman or he is a straight up guy who is spending time with his son (which means he has to see his ex) and wants you to still be a good couple.
I can not define weather he is cheating or trustworthy . However neither can you. You are the only one who can decide if this is working for you. Talk to him but dont make it seem that you are paranoid with him and his ex it could make things worse.
If you seeing him less is helping the relationship it is helping but is this working for you as much as him?
I always say people dont know how a relationship will work until there actually around one another all the time. If it is going to move on anywhere you would see each other more and not less. when will this seeing each other less thing end.
Talk on the phone, talk in person explain to him how you feel.
GOOD LUCK
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A
male
reader, childof1981  +, writes (8 October 2008):
 I am going to start with the trust question. No amount of data posted to the net can give us the ability to determine if he is trustworthy. You have to make the decision to either trust what your boyfriend said or not we can't make that call.
Assuming you trust him, what is he really asking? Your scenario mentioned that you would be seeing him 4+ days a week as well as calling. He is asking for 2-3 weekdays for himself and perhaps his child. If he is flustered it might be because he does not have enough time to divide up among all the things in his life that require his attention. He is asking you to acknowledge that he needs time for things that are not you.
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A
female
reader, mari1021 +, writes (8 October 2008):
 well, this is hard because i think relationships need time apart but hes setting dates? but the real question is if you dont trust him why are you with him? in my opionon i need my time apart also to make things better but you mentioned his ex?
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A
male
reader, unhappy08 +, writes (8 October 2008):
Sometimes being in a relationship over a certian period of time you get too use to each other and seeing each other might become tiresome. Especially if you fight with each other. I know I have been there, plenty of times. I think that spending time apart could be a good thing, but the way you are putting it makes him sound like a controller not a partner. I dont know this guy so I cant say wether or not you should trust him. Only you can determine that. Has he givin you reasons to not trust him? Do you feel uncomfortable about his ex (minus what your mother has put into your head). I think that if he is trying to make things work out then it shouldnt be a set schedule of when you can see him and when you can talk, you all should spend time together and if it seems pressed or overwelming try not seeing him the next day. You should definatly let him know that he is lucky to have you, and that he might be whats flips your switch right now but there are bigger fish in the sea. You all should have an equal partnership, and he should treat you like an equal!
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A
female
reader, sarahj1980 +, writes (8 October 2008):
ive learnt in every relationship, having space does help so u go off n do wot u want, n as they say absent makes the heart grow fonder!!! if i was u i would trust him. why did ur m8 say about the mother of his son?? does she want him bk or sumthing???
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A
female
reader, Faybelline +, writes (8 October 2008):
 To be honest, I don't see anything wrong with the suggestion you have some ime apart from each other; everyone needs some space every now and again, specially if you were arguing a lot.Don't worry about what your friend says, unless she has some hard evidence to back up her suspicions, think about how you feel; do YOU think you can trust him?Obviously if it's bothering you, you should talk to him about it but try not to sound like your accusing him of anything.It's easy to be jealous of an ex, specially if there's a child involved, but theres usually a good reason why that person is an EX and 9 times out of 10 I'd say there's nothing to worry about.Good Luck :)
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