A
female
age
36-40,
*smiasd
writes:Dear CupidMy and my bf are in relationship for the past 6 months before that we were close friends. I am travelling for my studies for an year. My bf says since i am travelling that we need to take a break, i.e we can talk/chat/mail whenever we find time. But we should be more like friends rather than lovers. He promised me he wont see anyone romatically unil i return back. He promised after an year, if we still feel same way about each other we can take it next level like marriage.. I trust him, but the thing is since we are indians, his parents might get him married to the girl of their choice within this year. In that case i dont know what happens to me. I love him so much that losing him hurts. But what he says also makes sense, long distance relationships are very difficult too. Please advice me what i am supposed to do.
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (18 July 2010):
 What your BF says may make sense,I guess, LDRs are not for everybody. Yet,personally, if it were me it would not go down well. No, my dear ( I'd say ) - you want it too easy; if I am worth something to you, you 'll be able to make adjustments and sacrifices, none of this half lovers half friends crap. I don't want to be your "just in case " girl, so choose, either in or out. That's just me, though.
LDRs are difficult to handle and require a high level of mutual attachment, trust and committment and if he does not feel he's at this level yet, we can't really blame him.
There is another problem though , that there would be even if you were not leaving. If his parents get to choose whom he is gonna marry, and if he has absolutely no way or will to choose independently....who tells you that his parents will choose YOU as his wife ? What if they want him to marry another girl ? Would he stand up against them or not ? You have to be very clear about that before investing more time and feelings in him...
A
female
reader, johannabanana  +, writes (18 July 2010):
 If he loves you there is no way he will marry another girl. If your the one he will stand up to his parents and refuse the marriage. He is a guy and maybe this year will just help him to clear his head. Also remember what is meant to be will be.
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