A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been going out with my bf for 3 years and I am more than willing to live with him now. But he signed a contract to live with his pal for 3 years and refuses to compromise. So we still have 2 more years of that 3 years to go. This means for the time being, I have to live alone (where my job is at) whilst he lives with this pal for 2 years. Then the other day we were discussing what we'd do after the 2 years. Even then, he said "well, I think I'd partially live at yours but still may rent and things at mine". I asked why his pal couldn't just get someone else to rent out the other room and he said "oh no that's not really fair because he only agreed to live with me". He doesn't seem to have any other commitment issues in reference to being bf/gf and is always talking about he can't wait to marry me. So this totally confuses me, and to be honest makes me a bit angry because I feel like it's all on his terms and I just have to wait around, living on my own (which I hate but have no choice over, I'd rather live alone than with random people) until he decides he can pull himself away from this friend of his (male). I don't geddit! :( Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2011): He's telling you what you want to hear, what sounds good to you because he knows he's safe and can sit back for the next couple of years without getting married. This does not sound like a guy even remotely ready to settle down. Why are you? What's the rush? Most guys aren't ready for that kind of commitment until their late 20's-30's. The truth is in his actions, not his words.
A
female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (24 September 2011):
 sounds like he is spinning you a line when he says he 'can't wait to marry you' - i am not saying he will NEVER want to marry you but 'can't wait' is stretching the truth a bit. you both want different things out of the relationship at the moment, you want to settle down and have the commitment of living together and marriage, he doesn't want to grow up just yet and is having fun living with his mate and in a lad's pad.
do you think he realistically will ever want things to be different? what is the rest of the relationship like apart from this difference of opinion about living together? i really is time to have a good talk about this, and look at his actions rather than the sweet talk responses he gives
x
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