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He said he's sorry and won't flirt...should I carry on with this relationship or is it pointless?

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Question - (2 March 2006) 3 Answers - (Newest, 3 March 2006)
A female , anonymous writes:

Ive been with my boyfriend two years now at the begining of the relationship i used to let him walk all over me because i didn't have the guts to say anything.

He didnt realise i could see what hed' been saying online to girls and when i confronted him he denyed it all even when i showed him proof, he used to hang out with his ex more than me, This hurt me so much as i couldn't bring myself to say anything i became dependant on drink and it started 2 ruin my life about a year ago when i found he had cheated on me a while back i finaly cracked and told him how i felt.

everyone told me to end the relationship but i knew deep down i couldn't do it as i really love this guy, i told him things had to change he was really sorry and promised he would.

witch he has he has changed soo much he cares for me much more now and ignores half the girls he used to flirt with,

now im stuck with a huge problem everytime i see him with another girl it kills me he is very close to certain girl friends and i find it really hard to cope i get at him about everything and cant trust him even though he's changed, it seems pointless been in the relationship but know i wouldnt be any better in other relationships

i love him so much and he does me, should i carry on with this relationship or is it pointless?

please help!

View related questions: cheated on me, flirt, his ex

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2006):

How do you tell if someone is in love with you? By speech? By giving you flowers? (my gf doesn't like flowers, she prefers rock climbing over flowers 8] ) Let me explain how I show my love for my gf, to give you an idea what I am trying to get at here... Stop eyeing me suspiciously ladies! I'm not trying to be unmodest! Just trying to make Ms. Anonymous realize how faulty the relationship with him is - or at the very least, his love for her.......

My love for my gf has grew gradually through ups and down in a period of one year. Let's just say my gf has been influenced by external forces most of the time, allowing her demons to take her mind and libido, allowing her to be conquered by those with selfish agendas, and take it all out on me. I was the victim. Alas, despite all that had happened, I stayed by her side, in times of need and desire.

When things finally got better, my love for her is never through speech. I believe speech is a stance undesirable alone. I put her well-being before my own. I put her happiness before what I want. I will never try to hurt her, nor will I ever try to do upon her what I don't want her to do upon me. Love to me is more than just a connection. It is more than just comfort. Love to me is all and everything, and beyond my reaches. Beyond my reaches because I desire more for her, and even if I reach those desires there will always be more to desire for.

...

Anyway, so what has he done for you that warrants love? Flowers every week? A dinner here and there?

Is that how love should be in modern day?

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A female reader, juliagulia United Kingdom +, writes (2 March 2006):

juliagulia agony auntIt is pointless. Dump him immediately and start working on your self-esteem. This guy is not treating you right and you are letting him get away with it. It sounds like you need to find some self-respect and then find someone who can appreciate you and spend time with you instead of a bunch of other girls. There are too many trust issues here and I think it is time for you to move onto better things. Good luck!

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A female reader, smeedle United Kingdom +, writes (2 March 2006):

smeedle agony auntHe only ignores half the girls now well thats a start, what are you thinking, he is not in love with you he is just telling you this to keep you hanging on and dangling, he knows if he tells you that he is keeping away from these girls and that he loves you, this will keep you off his back.

Ditch him before he ditches you.

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