A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for close to a year... We already live together with my son. I am going through personal issues... I believe I may have depression or BPD and am in the process of being treated. He's very busy both working and going to school full time.... Our fights are horrible... I have overwhelming emotions... The other night he told me he's not sure that "I'm the one for him". This utterly broke my heart. Despite our problems, I always held the mentality that we will always worl through it since we were "it" for each other... I don't know what to do or how to feel anymore... Should I stay with him or leave and work on myself alone? I'm so heartbroken I allowed him into my sons life.... I truly thought he was the one for me. :(
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (15 June 2010):
I also think you need to end it and make sure that you and your son are okay. The guy you're with just can't handle the pressure right now, which is a bad sign. I think the best thing you can do right now is leave and focus on your own life and that of your sons. Don't have an unreliable man in your life.
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (15 June 2010):
 Yeah, as much as it hurts, him saying that now frees you to break up with him and concentrate on your own healing. Horrible fights are damaging to both of you, and just to get away and stop the fighting can only be good for you.
I personally don't believe in "the one", or "it", or "soul mates" because it implies that there's only one person in the entire world that you're "supposed" to be with. This is an incredibly limiting belief and notion, because it'll cause someone, either you or your boyfriend, to believe that there might be someone better, and that you'll always second guess who you're with in case they may not be "the one".
You should leave and work on yourself alone. Have you ever thought how awful on your son your horrible fights are? That's gotta stop, and you need to be gentle and kind to your son. You also say you have overwhelming emotions? You need to get control of them. You rule them, they do not rule you. "Overwhelming emotions" have been the cause of spousal abuse, child abuse, murder, abandonment, and other things that could have been avoided with some emotional discipline.
Stay single, be really good to your son, stay away from drugs and other substances, and get better.
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