A
female
age
30-35,
plt08
writes:I am 35 year old single mom. I met this man at a local restaurant and became instantly interested. He is 26 years old. I had a mutual friend get his number for me and I sent him a text message and asked if he was married. We began to speak,he called me. He is Mexican and has lived in the US about 8 years. After texting for awhile he invited me to come over and hang out with him,so I did. We sat on his couch and talked from about 1 am til 6 am. He is a very nice person,he did not act weird or make any moves. He walked me to my car and hugged my neck. At the restaurant where he works when I would come in he was very flirtatious,with eye contact,winking,and making a point to come to my table and speak. A little while later on he invited me to come over so I did again. We watched a movie and had good conversation. He walked me to my car and again,hugged me and kissed me on the cheek. I had asked him before the second time I came over if he was interested in me,and he said that clearly he was. Well now it has been a week and I have not heard from him. He has not returned my phone call or text messages. I feel like I did something wrong.My question is,the restaurant he works at is one that I often go to with friends,how should I act,should I confront him or what?? Clearly he is not interested,I do not want to come off as desperate,any ideas,please respond.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2008): I am not saying this is the case but let me just explain something. Just because someone is "interested" in you doesn't mean he wants a future with you. Those are two different things. That is why when you asked him if he was interested in you his response was like "yeah clearly." I mean of course he liked you otherwise he wouldn't have hung out with you. But just because he likes you doesn't mean he "loves" you or ever will.
You can't confuse someone being interested with someone being inlove. I have been interested in ALOT of people that I never fell inlove with. Went out a couple of times and that was it.
Anyways, maybe something happened to him. You said he is Mexican so maybe he had to go back to Mexico on a emergency. I would just give him one more week and if he doesn't contact you by then with a really good excuse then I would let it go and move on.
A
female
reader, Ask oldersister +, writes (5 April 2008):
 I am so glad to hear that you didn't make your expectations his problem and that you can make light of it!! Hooray!
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A
female
reader, plt08 +, writes (5 April 2008):
plt08 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks to all of you that responded,I appreciate it so much. To catch up a little,I did go back to the restaurant and eat with my best friend. He was there,he did come by and say hello and as he made another pass by our table he poked me in the arm. I was friendly,because I truly have no right to be mean to him,he did not do anything wrong. I feel a lot better because I did not want this to be weird when I see him,that would be the worst. Once again thanks so much for the replies.
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A
female
reader, Ask oldersister +, writes (5 April 2008):
Frankly, I'm not surprised and no way should you confront him. You were instantly attracted to this guy from Mexico and you went in for the kill. If he was raised in Mexico, he probably has a more romantic view of courtship where men are the pursuers and American women are much more assertive than the women in Mexico. I think he may have thought you were coming on to him for sex and when you asked him if he was interested, he's right in front of you, what, is he going to tell you "no" to your face? You were too much for him- you don't want this guy anyway. Not that he wasn't attracted to you, don't get me wrong, you just scared the shit out of him. It's a rare person that will say flat out they aren't interested, so they just don't call. That's your answer so don't go after him with two smoking barrels looking for an explanation.
Sorry, Ma'am, you are too pushy. I like your direct style and respect it, but it doesn't always work with men. I would NEVER lose your assertiveness, it a quality that many women lack, but your dating acumen falls below par.
I would suggest you read "he's just not that into you" and also "the art of seduction" by Robert Greene- I love this book. You can still be bold but be smarter about getting guys to pursue YOU and not the other way around. You sound like a smart woman and one that goes after what she wants- just need to tailor your approach, okay? I hope you read those books, take care.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2008): Confront him? What can you be thinking of doing or saying? If he lost interest its not a crime. You weren't dating him. He owes you nothing. How to act though thats easy, act happy and fun. Don't waste any more time thinking about this.
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A
male
reader, BeatIt  +, writes (4 April 2008):
This seems like a hard situation, especially if you looved him.
Just tell him that you dont think it is going to work, as he clearly does not feel the same way that you do about him, people should be treated better.
Just confront him. Atleast you know you had a short-term toyboy.
Lotso'Luv beatit.
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