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He prefers to watch other couples on cam than be with me!

Tagged as: Pornography, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (26 September 2007) 6 Answers - (Newest, 8 October 2008)
A female United Kingdom age 51-59, anonymous writes:

hi please help my boyfriend of 19 years would rather watch a pretty couple make love on cam on the internet site he has joined (couples show on cam everything from blow jobs to full on sex) he hasnt touched me for 2 weeks yet he gets excited to watch other people on cam not sure what he is feeling he swears he loves me but deep down i dont think he wants me am i right

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A reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2008):

It sounds like the guy might be about the same age as me (I am turning 40 in a few weeks) I am in my 2nd marriage while I love my wife dearly I am NO teenager anymore and I know some guys feel that they need to have the same sex drive as they did when they were 18. If they dont have the same drive as a teen they feel short of a man so they do what they have to, to drive that hormone level back up. Some turn to other "excitement" ranging from Playboy magazine to porn on the internet to as far as becoming a "swinger"

I would try simply renting a private hot tub room for a few hours (with no computer access).

My other question is which of you made the choice NOT to marry? This just shows me lack of commitment even before this point.

If all else fails get professional help.

(however some therapist may have an issue working with an "UNofficial couple" due to religious reasons even if they wont come out and admit due to legal reasons) I know Catholic or Luthern Charities will turn you away due to the fact your not married.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2007):

ditch him,right away. i did.best thing i ever did

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A female reader, O Connor Ireland +, writes (27 September 2007):

O Connor agony auntyou need to break up with this guy and realise that this is not how anyone should be treated! i didnt realise that he was actually interacting with these women - this is in my mind a form of cheating and it must make you feel awful. i really do think that you should leave - your self confidence is only going to diminish staying with someone like this and you deserve someone who is happy with the real woman they have and know wat it means to be in a loving relationship. if you think about it is there anything worth staying for at this stage? wat are you getting out of it? my thought is nothing....no sex life, no love, no friendship or anything. get out while you can, and know that this kind of behaviour is completely out of order and down right horrible. im sorry to be so blunt but i feel awful for you and hate to hear of anyone beong treated like this. email me if you wanna talk about it more hun good luck xxx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2007):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

well last night he was waiting for this women to come on after a while he was just about to talk to another women lying on the sofa half naked so i made a few comments likewhat is his problem he threw down the keybored and said ok i wount talk to her we'll go back to be being boring!!! id rather be boring im afraid that have to sit and watch him night after night chatting up women calling them babe and sexy what ever does he think of me!!i really think he dont want me i asled him last night if he still fancys me he said no i then said do you find me attrative he said no that he aint really thought sbout it, so i said well how the hell do you know if you love me he said i dont know what love is

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A female reader, O Connor Ireland +, writes (26 September 2007):

O Connor agony aunti think that you should sit down and discuss how you feel about this whole situation. fair enough if you 2 are still having a sex life but if he hasnt touched you in this long then i do think there may be something going on. tell him that it is making you feel very insecure and point out the fact that he hasnt touched you and you feel rejected. alot of ppl enjoy watching things like this on the net but its not healthy if it affects their own personal relationships. like i said talk to him, and if he doesnt understand then you should maybe think about whether you are willing to continue with this guy or leave him and his PC alone.another reason for him doing this could be that he could want some more spice in your sex life - after 19 years he it could pay off to change things up. email me and ill try and help you further please good luck!

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom + , writes (26 September 2007):

kenny agony auntI really feel that this is something that you have got to talk to him about. Tell him how uncomforable you are with this weird fetish he is persuing, and the lack of love and attention you are recieving due to him looking at exhibitionism. Personally i think its really selfish of him to be veiwing all this material and shutting you out at the same time. I would talk to him, and if he he does not change his ways i would consider walking away.

Good luck x

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