A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I can't get this guy out of my head, he played with my heart for over three years, we became really good friends at first, he helped me with the bullies I worked with and he understod that I was shy and lacked confidence, I trusted him and after almost a year and a half we became intimate, then I found out accidentally that he has a long trm gilfriend of almost eight years, unfortunately she has cancer and when I confronted him about it he denied it then about three months later just said it was complicated, I cut all contact at first then after about six months he got in touch I spoke to him and thought we could just let it go and be friends but when I suggested that he ignored me (he wanted to meet us for sex I think). It's now been a while and I cant get him out of my head and I know it's wrong because he is with someone and he is a complete jerk but he is the first person I hav really cared for (I know sad) I just miss talking to him, I feel so lonely without him but at the same time I also want revenge for him fooling me the way he did. And one last thing about this guy I wasn't the only other girl he had on the go I also found out he had one-night stands with at least four other people. I feel bad for his girlfriend because she thinks he's perfect just like I use to. Does revenge help?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2011): No. Revenge would not help. As per the previous post, it would be callous in the extreme to dump all this on the lap of a woman already suffering with cancer. She has enough on her plate.
Besides, getting back at him would, in HIS mind, justify his treatment of you. He'll just tell himself you deserved what you got since you turned out to be a troublemaker anyway. It wouldn't be true, of course, but truth won't matter. And it would reduce you.
He helped you with the bullies. You had some good times together when you were friends. Cherish that time, learn and move on. And pray for his girlfriend.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2011): No, revenge doesn't help. I mean, will telling his girlfriend who has CANCER make you feel any better? It's not her fault she's dating an asshole. If anything, you should be glad that you found out who he really is before it carried on any longer.
Unfortunately, some men are users who just want one thing. However, you can't just go around seeking revenge every time somebody hurts you.
You need to realize that you can do better than this sleaze and move on with your life. He cheated on a girl who has a terminal illness! You might miss him but is there really much to miss? Why would you want to be friends with someone like that?
I get the feeling that you are maybe a little lonely and this guy made you feel wanted. I understand that. You need to work on that self esteem of yours and meet new people. Decent people. Friends who you can talk to and have fun with.
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