A
female
age
36-40,
*amar
writes:i have written for suggestions pertaining to my boyfriend and not knowing stuff about him, i have taken steps to finding things out, and questioning him about his family and stuff. we had a disagreement where he used curse words at me and in not so may words referred to me as a bitch and a whore. he started to really act negatively when i got laid off from my job, we go out no more, he hardly or doesn't call, he knowingly lied straight to my face and now he knows I'm willing to leave he starts to pick conversations with me, trying to be nice. he was to come by my house according to him to discuss things face to face, he didn't show stating he would the next day, the next day now he wants me to come by him, to sort things out, he is being so persistent, that i think he's up to no good. he does not want to come by as he states it is not private enough, i just think it is not wise to meet him away from home. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2008): It seems that Red flags are waving in your head here.
Frankly, I feel no matter what an argument is about between a couple, one calling the other names is totally unescessary. Added to the fact that he lied to you..all this is giving you a lot of information about him.
So now, you seem to have relunctant feelings about this guy. I don't blame you! He's being really persistant and this seems to have unsettled you. If you are willing to leave him, then do so because I honestly think you are a girl, who is looking for a way out and doesn't know how to do it, with this aggressive male. The only way is doing it quickly, and never having contact again.
Added to that, if you are saying, you don't think it's wise to meet him away from home, that is telling me you feel very 'unsafe with him' and 'you don't trust him'. There is your answer, dear. It's within you..it'c called intuition and doubt about him. You should never consider being with a man, who unbalances you in this way. I think you would be wise to meet him in a public place and tell him, you are moving on. It might be a good idea to have a few friends, hanging out waiting for you, not far away. After you tell him, walk away and never look back. So start shifting the focus to yourself and give yourself a happy life ahead. Keep being strong and retain your drive to be a female who lives for her own standards and what she wants in your life. It's all there for you, you just have to go for it. Good luck hun and I wish you the best.
A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (23 March 2008):
 Go with your feelings.
He is showing early signs of being abusive, not saying he is but you clearly seem to think something is wrong.
Go with that. For discussing things you don't need that much privacy, you can always do it in the garden or something.
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