A
female
age
30-35,
*issy_H
writes:This goes back a while, about 8 months to be exact. I went on holiday towards the end of March/beginning of April. It was a little place, no where fancy. I was never a believer of love at first sight but when I saw this bloke who worked there as an entertainer, I melted! That particular week it was my 18th birthday. Usually at this place, a quick birthday announcement is made during a song but when he found out (my mum told him, along with how much I fancied him), he called me up on stage, sat me on his knee, made everyone in the audience (500+ people) sing happy birthday to me and gave me a peck. After that, he kept dropping me little hints like his age, that he's single and just little things like that. I'm not very confident when it comes to relationships. I chickened out and never asked him for his number and left without any means of communication. I went back in July, in the hope that I'd get somewhere. I managed to ask him out for a drink. Right, I thought this is when I will ask him for his number. We went out, had a few drinks and as soon as I was about to ask him for his number, his phone rang and he had to go immediately. After that, once again, I came back home with nothing. Now, in October, I have just come back from the place again!! However, he wasn't there. He got the sack for whatever reason but now I found out that he had a girlfriend of many years and that they are planning to buy a house together. The thing that's bothering me is that I can't seem to be angry at him!! He's obviously lied to me and I should be angry or disappointed. Yet his photos with me are all over my room. I know nothing real ever began but when we were together, the chemistry was to die for. I don't know what to do. I go crazy thinking about him every second of the day. I can't concentrate on anything and I just ask myself "will I ever see him again??" "why is he not with me?" "what's wrong with me?" and it's driving me insane!!! I can't move on and to be honest, I don't want to move on. He means more to me than anyone has ever done. Please help!!! Anyone have any advice??? Thanks!
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female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (23 January 2009):
So in total you've actually spent about 6 minutes in his company? He flirted and was good looking and was nice to you.
I think what you have to realise is that you have made him into your perfect boyfriend in your mind. You've put him up on a pedestal in there when in reality he is NOTHING like the man you dream about.
It's fine to enjoy little crushes like this, but you have to realise that this man is not real. He's your perfect imaginary man and until you actually accept that and rationalise this then you won't get over him.
Keep him as a little day dream but look around the real world and make some effort to find actual real men attractive too.
Good Luck!! xx
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