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female
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anonymous
writes: Please helpI really dont know what to do about my situation. I have asked for help before but not got much sympathy. I have fallen in love with my best friend. He is married with 2 grown up children. They still live at home. We have been best friends for 10 years. He has never been happy with his wife, but doesn't want to hurt her either. He left for 1 month. We were so happy. But his wife would not accept him leaving, and threatened to kill herself. The kids were so upset by all this, they phoned him crying, and now he has gone back. Before you think I am a heartless cow, please understand that we are so in love and don't know what to do. He has gone back for the children, nothing else. How can we please everyone? We miss each other so much, it's torture. Please help.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2005): Why is it that mostly the woman gets the blame. I have had a husband leave me, with two young children. Yes it was upsetting at the time, but i always thought of my kids, and how much they needed me. I would never threaten to kill myself to keep a man. And after a time i realised that he did the best thing by leaving me, he didnt love me or he would not have looked anywhere else. So you see that its not always what it seems, i do know what its like to be hurt. And i would never have gone out with this man, if i thought it was just a fling. THATS WHY ITS ALL SO HARD
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2005): No symptahy here dearie. You knew he was married and so it never should have happened to begin with. If he ever gets a divorced then you can hook up but right now you have no business having ANYTHING to do with him. Get on with you life and from now on leave the married guys alone.
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A
reader, pops +, writes (19 September 2005):
there is not much you can do. It is his decision. He should not have gone back to her, after leaving. She is using her mental illness( depression) to control and manipulate the entire family. For his children's sake, he needs to put an end to that. She needs to be in therapy, if not a mental hospital. He should try to do what he can to get her there. If she refuses, then he has to leave. Yes, he will feel terrible if she kills herself, but he will feel terrible about that whether he is living with her, married to her, or divorced, and living elsewhere. He has to accept that fact. She can kill herself any time he's not looking and there is nothing he can do about it. I wish hem well, and good luck to you.
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