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female
,
anonymous
writes: Dear Cupids,I have just started sleeping with my new boyfriend and I think he is gorgeous and we get on so well. He is 28 and I am a few years younger - we have been seeing each other for about 2 months.He seems to have a problem with his erection. Its fine but then once we start fooling around or just before we have sex he loses it, sometimes it's ok and the sex is really good but I wonder if I should ask him about it, although I don't want to make him feel inadequate. Maybe I am not turning him on - this also worries me! Although he always tells me I do. Everything else is great and he makes me feel amazing but is there any medication that would help him, or how do I go about talking to him about this, if at all right now!?? :( x
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advice. It's the last time that worried me as everything was fine until we started doing stuff and it just seemed to be on and off! Although we didn't have long so we couldn't really take our time like we would have liked too.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2006): I think that sometimes there is a false expectation that a guy will be a walking hard-on, able to gain an erection at just the slightest hint of anything sexy.
For most guys, this is unrealistic. Gaining a good erection requires the right mood, the right partner and there may still be some ebb and flow of the quality of erection. For the moment, I would not mention it to him because if he gets a complex about it, it will get worse.
Age 18, the walking hard-on stereotype probably is the case but as guys age, even into their late 20's, they often require more stimulus to get a raging nob-on.
You need to build his confidence and not worry him.
Speaking from personal experience (and I'm a similar age), it can take time for you to "tune in" to a new partner and gain confidence. Figure out what you do to him that makes him most hard (is it oral? making sexy noises? pushing your tits in his face? sucking his fingers? kissing his chest/nibbling his nipples? cupping his balls?)... keep an eye on what causes him to go soft. There is almost certainly NOTHING wrong with him medically. Just be gentle, keep working with him and I can guarantee that as you get more comfortable with each other, things will improve.
Good luck sweetie and keep us updated.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2006): To protect his male ego if I were you I wouldn't mention it to him. Talking to him about it would knock his confidence. The best thing you can do is make him feel special. Don't let on that you are finding it to be a problem. Don't worry about not turning him on. I'm sure that's not the reason. At some stage in life all males get this problem so don't worry. It could be that maybe he is feeling a bit pressured at the moment and this isn't a problem he usually has.Wait and see if the situation improves. If you really do get fed up then talk to him about it. But be careful not to make him feel inadequate. Handle his feelings with care. Best wishes.
It would be great if some makes could answer this question wouldn't it? Any males out there who wanna help out?
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