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He literally flipped in 8 hours! Is he blowing me off?

Tagged as: Dating, Friends<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (12 November 2018) 10 Answers - (Newest, 19 November 2018)
A female United States age 41-50, *indsaytcb writes:

Is he blowing me off? I've been friends with this guy for years. We talk daily and have recently decided to take things to the next level since we are both finally single at the same time. Plus, he always lived about 6 hours away and now hes only a little over an hour away. I was supposed to visit him this coming weekend. Hes cancelled and said that hes under a lot of stress and that we will need to postpone. That he thinks he has to put his dog down and is having family issues and is just down and not himself and doesn't want to expose me to that. I'm so confused! He literally flipped in 8 hours.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2018):

I have heard the 'My dog is being put down' excuse a few times, like a man who said he wanted to look at a car I was selling and stalled a few times stating his dog was ill, to then not hear from him again.

If you think about it, it is easier than to say a relative is potentially dying and it simply can't be proven they are suffering such misery over a pet dog.

It could be true of course but while I know pets are part of a family, we have had enough dogs in our family over the course of my 45 years to know that life doesn't stop and people don't spend weeks in tortured bereavement either. Sorry but it sounds like a cop out, no matter what he could reply back, I don't buy he is that heartbroken that he can't at least do that.

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A female reader, lindsaytcb United States +, writes (19 November 2018):

lindsaytcb is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I sent him a text last night and said, just wanted to say hi and check in on you. He said, I'm doing ok I guess. Thanks for checking in baby and sent 3 little heart and kissy faces. I said you're welcome and I miss ya. He said yeah me too I'm sorry I'm just crazy right now.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (17 November 2018):

Honeypie agony auntDefinitely don't sit on your hands and wait for the stars to align for him.

I mean, if he was serious about you, would he ignore you, even if he is stressed?

Maybe there is a good reason it just never was "good timing".

Chin up.

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A female reader, lindsaytcb United States +, writes (15 November 2018):

lindsaytcb is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Well, I sent him a text today saying i hope he's doing ok and that I miss my friend. No reply. I guess I should just move on.

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A female reader, lindsaytcb United States +, writes (14 November 2018):

lindsaytcb is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you guys for your responses! I guess it's just freaking me out a bit because I'm used to hearing from him every day and now nothing. I sent him a text saying just sending you a hug. He sent back thanks. I said hang in there and take of yourself I'm a bit worried about you and I'm here for you. No reply. I think I'm worried about him more than anything. But he's definitely not letting me in. He's very apathetic and cold in his texts.

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A female reader, lindsaytcb United States +, writes (14 November 2018):

lindsaytcb is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you guys for your responses! I guess it's just freaking me out a bit because I'm used to hearing from him every day and now nothing. I sent him a text saying just sending you a hug. He sent back thanks. I said hang in there and take of yourself I'm a bit worried about you and I'm here for you. No reply. I think I'm worried about him more than anything. But he's definitely not letting me in. He's very apathetic and cold in his texts.

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A female reader, lindsaytcb United States +, writes (14 November 2018):

lindsaytcb is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you guys for your responses! I guess it's just freaking me out a bit because I'm used to hearing from him every day and now nothing. I sent him a text saying just sending you a hug. He sent back thanks. I said hang in there and take of yourself I'm a bit worried about you and I'm here for you. No reply. I think I'm worried about him more than anything. But he's definitely not letting me in.

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A female reader, lindsaytcb United States +, writes (14 November 2018):

lindsaytcb is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you guys for your responses! I guess it's just freaking me out a bit because I'm used to hearing from him every day and now nothing. I sent him a text saying just sending you a hug. He sent back thanks. I said hang in there and take of yourself I'm a bit worried about you and I'm here for you. No reply. I think I'm worried about him more than anything. But he's definitely not letting me in.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (13 November 2018):

Honeypie agony auntWhere is the fire OP?

I can't imagine having to potentially putting my PET down and then try and have a "romantic" weekend at the same time, so I totally get that he wants to be in a better head-space for that weekend with you, than he is in right now.

Reschedule.

IF he also flakes on the next attempt, then dial it back QUITE a bit.

I know it seems like it might be "perfect timing" as you are both single and interested, but sometimes things aren't what they seem.

I sat slow down your roll. Just because you have been friends for years doesn't mean you will have an instant working relationship overnight. Sometimes LIFE gets in the way.

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom + , writes (13 November 2018):

kenny agony auntIts good that you have decided to take things to the next level. He sounds like he has got a lot on his plate at the moment, having to have a dog put down, combined with family issues. Maybe he is being respectful that it is early on in your relationship and does not want to expose you troubles he is currently experiencing.

Give him the benefit of the doubt and give him time to get past these hard times, be there for him, and offer him support.

Im sure when he is over the stresses he is currently having you can both get back working on your relationship.

Good luck.

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