A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hi,i have been getting with this guy recently, and from the beginning he told me he doesn't want a girlfriend as;a) he had just got out of a long term relationship b)he wants to be singlehowever as we've spent more time together im really starting to fall for him, and its not just about the physical side, when we are together he treats me like a girlfriend so i am really confused about how he feels about me? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, xanthic  +, writes (16 November 2010):
 He's already told you he wants to be single, which means he wants to play the field and doesn't want to be tied down to one girl. It his own way, he directly told you all he's looking for is a friend with benefits, i.e. sex with no strings attached.
You may think he's treating you like a girlfriend, but this arrangement sounds like nothing more than FWB to me. Treating you like more than a friend and asking you to be more than a friend are completely different, if he hasn't asked you to be his girlfriend by now, he's likely not going to. As long as you're giving him the benefits of a relationship without actually being in one, what incentive does he have to move things forward?
A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (16 November 2010):
 You said there's a physical side..are you guys having sexual intercourse?
He told you from the get go he wants to be single and he just got out of a long term relationship. That should have been your first clue to back away silently. This guy is on the rebound, he's not looking to be tied down. Instead, he's looking for some fun. Especially if there's sex involved..But now you're emotionally invested. So the best thing for you to do is directly ask how he feels about you, see if his feelings have changed. If not, his answer still stands the same then this is nothing but friends with benefits, no strings attached deal in which you need to get yourself out of it. Because you will not get the commitment you need and seek.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2010): Hi. If he told you he definately doesnt want a girlfriend but hes being very nice and youve started having a physical relationship with him. Then it sounds as if you have an unofficial FWB relationship. Talk to him and find out if this is the case.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2010): ~HONEST DIRECT COMMUNICATION~
The best thing to do is to share this dilemna with him, as we can only speculate where he can provide the answer.
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