A
female
age
30-35,
*hateveryousay
writes:My boyfriend is really mushy in emails and stuff, but not so much in real life. What should I do to get him to stop being so shy?
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female
reader, whateveryousay +, writes (13 June 2008):
whateveryousay is verified as being by the original poster of the question weeell school is over 4 summer (obviously!!!) aand we are oth preeetty busy s0 i havent taked to him in a while....
A
male
reader, gram  +, writes (25 May 2008):
 ok thats a positive he has loosend up,great.im not sure if i said it but get him around positive people that talk alot but also see if you can be really positive also,encouragement,its just gonna take some time thats all,give it time
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A
female
reader, whateveryousay +, writes (23 May 2008):
whateveryousay is verified as being by the original poster of the questionok he loosened up a little, but i think hes getting distant... i dont know what to do becauese we both really love eachother but i dont know what to do...
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A
female
reader, whateveryousay +, writes (11 May 2008):
whateveryousay is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you guys thats good advice!
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A
female
reader, whateveryousay +, writes (11 May 2008):
whateveryousay is verified as being by the original poster of the question thnx guys great advice
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A
female
reader, Lily Moll +, writes (11 May 2008):
Maybe as he grows more comfortable with you, he will be less shy. Look on the bright side: at least he has this one way of expressing how he feels for you. Some people find it hard to be mushy under any circumstances.
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A
male
reader, gram +, writes (11 May 2008):
hi ok i was so shy that i turned red when people talked to me, especially girls coz i had very low confidence of girls.personally the only way i came out of it was reading personal development books.but i dont think thats the way to go in yr current situation.really all u need to do is be very encouraging no matter what,even if it feels silly.give him compliments and tell him he can do anything.im the same in emails im alot more confident than i was. so yes it takes time.stick with him and be the best you can be,he will really appreciate u if you keep encouraging u and being there for him.its just that he lacks confidence face to face thats all,its not necicarily hes shy he just lacks confidence.and yeah just be interested in what he enjoys.put him around some friends that are positive and like talking if u have any.its hard finding people positve(encouraging).he wont react straight away with these sorts of people but over time u will see a difference.i cant stress enough that u need to encourage him and tell him u can do anything even if he doesnt believe it.keep me updated
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A
female
reader, happytochat +, writes (11 May 2008):
Ultimately it is up to your bf himself to stop being shy. You cant really change him, but you can be as supportive as you can be to encourage him to be less shy.
You might like to ask him if he feels why face to face to you and ask him why? Atleast that way you can understand and it will give you more of an idea of how you can help him. You could ask him what you could do to actually help him. I think if he knows you are supportive then this will help. But be careful to not make him feel under pressure. Remind him that you love him and will still be with him even when he is shy.
I think the key to overcoming shyness is taking baby steps. Im not a fan of pushing people into deep water to drown.
So maybe he could write you a letter saying how much he loves you and all the mushy things he cant say face to face, and then he can hand it to you face to face and sit with you while you read it.
Talk about it with him and find tiny little steps you can both take TOGETHER!
Remember overcoming shyness can be a LONG process and sometimes people dont overcome it...so you have to figure out whether or not you are preapred to stick by him, thick and thin...
Personally if it was me, I would...but some people dont like ebing around shy people.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2008): I don't know im the same way i don't realy think there is a cure or at least you cant cure him he has to do that part himself just keep trying to make small talk with him or just find what interests him so he will feel more sucure to talk to you and notbe so shy what most guys like and so do i is video games try talking about haol 3 or the legend of zelda or what ever thats my best sugetsion.
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