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He is ignoring me...what should I do?

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Question - (25 January 2006) 69 Answers - (Newest, 31 January 2013)
A female , anonymous writes:

I really need some advice on what to do..my so called bf has been totally ignoring me he hasnt taken any of my calls for 5 days now i leave him emails and instant messages but nothing i had written a letter to him like 4 days ago reguarding our little issues and everything appeard to be going good untill the letter now i am getting avoided like the plauge. If he doesn't want to see me anymore than he should tell me thats all i want and i am getting so mad that i am contemplating going to his house to confront him because this isnt a good thing. help what should i do???

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2013):

I have two quotes I've heard on the issues we all seem to be having. "Waiting for someone else to make you happy is the best way to make you sad." So, we are going to sit around and allow the immature man to decide when we are happy in life? I'm not going to anymore as of now. I'm done. The other quote I thought made alot of sense is "If you can't figure out where you stand with someone, it might be time to stop standing and start walking."

I know it is so hard to turn your back and start walking but I think we women need to be treated well and not be treated with this immature behavior that these men hand out to us.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2013):

You should ignore him back! Do not text, IM, or email him. Let him wonder what you're doing with your time. If he really cares about having a relationship with you, then he will come around. Men are hunters. They don't get any thrill from being the "hunted". Leave him alone and move on with your own life. You just may find that it's not the BF that you really want, but answers to your questions!! Do you really want HIM to be the one to say "I'm just not into you". That's just asking for more pain that you'll have to deal with. It's YOUR pain, not his, and there is always a lesson learned on the other side of pain. If he does come around eventually, he had better hope that you're still interested in HIM!!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2013):

It feels AWESOME to know I am not the only one feeling this way.!! My bf has started ignoring me because I left his place early two weeks in a row. We have been together for 3 1/5 years and have always had a mutually loving and fun relationship. He has messaged me telling me he still loves me but needs some time out. I have tried to call and text him on multiple occasions to tell me if it's over but he hasn't responded at all. I am assuming that must mean its not over. After reading all these messages I can understand how childish men really are and feel empowered to ignore him even when he does talk to me again. I have ignored him before and he didn't like it so there is hope. Thank you for opening my eyes. Good luck to everyone:-)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2013):

I'm going through the same thing! I'm so in love w/him! He stopped answering my calls, my texts, but I know he reads them b/c I got this thing in my phone that let's me know he's read them but no response! He did text me like 4/5 days ago stating "he's going thru alot & doesn't want to talk about it" ??? But I'm your woman I want to help you & love you! I'm concerned! It's just so crazy, I don't know what I did! I'm so scared of losing him to another woman who hasn't put no blood, sweat & tears into him like I have! I just don't understand no contact! Well... My heart is aching& and I love him dearly, I have stopped texting & calling, begging pleading asking why is he hurting me like this! If he contacts you, then it was meant! If not then not! I know it's hard... I'm going they this right now:-(

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2013):

The man is scared! He can't handle is "feelings". Back off, fuck someone else, and he will come begging for you again!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2013):

Just ignore back, ladies!! Show him who's boss. LOL

he'll be back. :))

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2013):

I am going through the same situation.ive been dating this guy for 2 years noW,and lately his been distant for 2 weeks no phone calls no texts,these past week i had to start the conversation and he would reply,but for the past 1 week ive been quite and am just fade and i think its very childish for him to keep me in suspence. Am so tired ive been through so much i cant take it anymore.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2013):

We've been dating for 9 months now, and suddenly a lady called me, giving me evidence that they have been dating for 3yrs, showing me the picture they both took together on her b'day.

He called me the following day, I made him, he has broken my heart and thanked him for cheating on me all the whille...he needed further explanantions but I was too sad to explain..

He hasn't called for a week now...we are still friends on facebook and he still sent me examination prayer message, what do I do?

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A female reader, Vodka United Kingdom +, writes (14 January 2013):

Does man ever grow out of this? No I don't think he does. Inside every man is a trapped little boy. They need to man up and talk! We're good but not psychic! It's driving me nuts too. I'm gonna try so hard no more chasing! Enough! Never chase affection, if its not given freely its not worth it! Why do these men put us in this situation in first place - why didn't he just run a mile sooner?

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A female reader, helen njui United States +, writes (5 December 2012):

dont confront him .he will tutn around and say u are harrasing him.just leave him alone .he is not worth it .ignore him.if he loves u he will come around.if he doesnot come around then u know he doednt love u.u dont want to be with someone who doesnot love u anyway.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2012):

Omg this is ridiculous , I thought I was the only one having this problem but I see I'm not alone.You guys really just gave me some good advice & I'm more confident that my ex will want me back. We broke up because he was stressed & told me straight up that he was going to ignore me"/ .But now I have no worries because I'm gonna ignore him & see how he likes it !

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2012):

Hi...you poor thing...I feel your pain..I've also been taking comfort from these replies....just get busy....everytime you hit a weak moment and want to contact him, get on this page for support and the strength that you need to resist doing it....in time , hopefully, the need for his approval will fade for any of us on here who are suffering and we'll all feel stronger together..hang on in there! xx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2012):

Get busy, try everything but not to contact him. men with lack of self confidence are plenty, be the one who ignores. tell yourself if he loves me he'll come back, if he dose not care, send him to hell. trust in yourself, you don't want a man like that. fill your day with things to do, work full time, surround yourself with friends or family. but NEVER contact him again. Remember if came back, don't through yourself in his arms right away!Good Luck

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2012):

I am sort of having the same problem, I have been seeing this guy about 4 months, we were great at first, he would text me, call me, but then slowly it started to be not as often. I saw him last around a week and half ago, everything seemed fine, we had a nice nite, but I have not heard from him since. I have texted him a few times, real nice things, my last text I asked if everything was okay with him and was he oright?? I thought he would answer that one, but he did not. I agree with you, if he does not want to see you anymore then why doesn't he just text you and say that instead of you making a fool out of yourself and a ass by texting him. I am going to give a few more days and I think I will just text and ask him real nice could you please just do me a favor and let me what is going on??? It sucks, I know, men sometimes just do not get it. I do not think you should go to his house, might get you more upset, I say text him. I also think he is not responding to you back off for a few days and see what he does. I keep saying I am going to do that and I don't but I think I am go to start that as of today!!! Might just make him think, if not then well you are no worse off than you were before. Try not to think about him not texting you, go out with friends, be happy. Good Luck

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A female reader, Allygrly United States +, writes (14 June 2012):

I know this is really late lol but this helped me. I happy I'm not alone with this stupid guy thing. I hate when they do this but my bf does this sometimes and after about two weeks he backto normal. I hate how he deals with his problems this way and I wish he'd talk to me instead of going off into his own little world. But he comes back so like someone said it is like a man period. So I guess try not to text too much but maybe everyother day so he knows your still there if he needs you or like people have been saying let him be for a bit and try not to panick even though that's the hardest thing to do haha I hope this helps!

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A female reader, geann Angola +, writes (29 August 2011):

wow! nice to hear from you guys! It is happening to me now. Our relationship ran smoothly until one day, he's gone. I texted him but he never reply.

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A female reader, Bobbyjo United Kingdom +, writes (27 July 2011):

Bobbyjo agony auntwow....this is an old post but I thought I would get my 2 pence in anyway! Well, im being ignored too. And it is the most frustrating, heartbreaking time ever. 2 weeks ago I was his girlfriend. I had met his family. We were happy. Now Im alone, he wont respond to my calls or emails, hes texted a few times but they are very short blunt answers with no kisses. I just dont get how someone could have you in their life one minute then completely ignore you the next.....im itching to ring him or text him begging for answers. Its a horrible time but I take comfort in knowing Im not the only one going through it.

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A female reader, resh India +, writes (22 December 2010):

Once boy or girl gets assurance that the opposite person just likes them a lot.., then they think: ''whatever i do another person is going to call me'' So there something called: ''NO MORE THRILL'' in the relationship..

He or she thinks that ''oh I am just so great and beautifu.l''

So he or she has become: ''totally over you.''

They develop overconfidence.

The only thing you can do is wait for around ten days, then call him from an unknown number, but talk for only one minute, saying '' i am a little busy.'' Then do that frequently and tell him your life is going great. Tell him anything you feel is important for him. Never ask him to meet until he asks. The rest you know: flirt.

But but if he doesnt respond tell him: GOODBYE

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2010):

the only solution for this is, just ignore him for as many days as you can.It really works and you might think that i am mad.But no, it really, really, really and definetly works.Sure and All the best.....................

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2010):

this is a game guys know very well how to play..they just dont understand that we women need explanations for everything..even sometimes a guy needs some time alone to think about stuff and clear things up in his mind..BUT how would we know that..?? we are not mind readers ..it hurts ..and if anything it makes us feel avoided and alone..

i just think that ..and from experience with such kind of person..girl just let the guy alone for a while..and try to busy urself with anything..and stop thinking about him..

he will surely call wen he realises that u arent anymore and he will explain..my bf used to have a lot of problems i was never aware of and he never used to tell me..wen he would withdraw into his world ..i would feel offended and say awful stuff to make up for the hurt..and then feel guilty wen he tells me wat hes going through..

so again,just leave him alone for a while..3 days ..its alot but affective..dont text him during this period..let him miss u ..

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2010):

If he wants to be with you he will the worst thing you can do is keep calling him ignore him and see where it gets you that usually drives them crazy

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2010):

I've been in that situation and hell! its really not easy. I can't avoid not to get paranoid. I have lots of WHY's in mind until now. I can feel he loves me but he does not want to communicate with me when he is outside my country. He blocked me in his online accounts. He appears in most of my dreams and it all seemed real. Do i need to make myself believe that he dont care anymore? that he love me no more? that i should start believing and waiting?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2010):

Unless you've done something to him, there is no reason for him to leave you. He might have even been faced with something right now thats putting him under stress and so he is enclosed in his own little "world". Other than that... I know it hurts girl, but at this point, what's best to do is continue and love your life, so he'll get the message that even without him, you are the happiest girl as can be. This would make he consider what's been going on, or what he's been doing, and why he's been ignoring you. and..if something ever happens in the relationship,which it is now, if you as a girl continue ur life and be happy, that makes him regret doing whatever he did..usually..and it'll make him thnk twice about you. If till now, your relationship's been great, it should. And don't panic girl. Keep it cool and understand that everything happens for a reason, if what you're going through right now is meant to be. Know exactly what to do to keep him coming toward you: Just be you, living your lovely life, and he'll come knocking your door down. Likewise, this is how to get the attention of a guy in the first place."He will all of a sudden realize what a prize you are and that he could lose you." You're not alone. Guys are like this. Just be yourself. =]

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2010):

I know exactly how you feel too. I've been seeing this guy for about 8 months now and 90% of the time we are so amazing together, we have amazing chemistry and we never argue, we just click. But ever since 2 months in, every single 2 months almost exactly he has like a week or two where things are "too much" and he can't cope or some rubbish, so he just ignores me till he's done.

At first it really got to me and I'd get very upset, now I've started to realise the signs and just prepare for it. Its like his period lol. But I'm crazy about him and I'm not ready to let him walk.

The best thing you can do is leave him be, don't attempt any communication for a week or that, then maybe after that just like a simple or joking text, something light hearted. If no reply, then don't bother for a little while again. But like everyone has said: if he really cares he will come back to you. And things like this just make you realise how much you mean to each other.

I hope this helps you x

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2010):

he is mad about something, and it is probably really irritating him that you keep trying to get a hold of him. stop trying, don't call him, don't text him, etc. go out and have some fun with your other friends. If he want's to talk he'll call you. Good luck

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A female reader, somethingdifferent United States +, writes (2 April 2010):

Man, I thought I was the only one. I HATE mind games so much. If he wants to break up why the hell doesnt he just come out with it?

LADIES, we have to have high self esteem and MOVE ON with our lives. Dont waste your time with silly little boys. There are good men out there.

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A female reader, Tambers United States +, writes (1 April 2010):

I am so glad I came on here..I have been in agony myself, met this guy online and we had been talking for about 8 months now, went out a few times, but past couple of weeks, he has been really too busy to write on IM...went on the dating site we met on, and well, he wasn't too busy for this, so kinda figuring he is talking to someone else..he wrote on Fri. saying he was crazy busy, but would get a hold of me foloowing week...well, I lost it..saw him on dating site several times on sat. so i emailed him there and basically busted him I guess...haven't heard a peep...I apologized, but he is ignoring my texts, but still shows up as available on my IM..so I wrote him, and said I wouldn't bother him again, and lo and behold..there is is, available on Im next day so I showed up as available , but didn't Im him amd well, he logged off soon after...but , no I am not sending any texts...I figure he is ignoring them, he met someone else...I busted him, he is mad, but what I don't get is why he still shows up on my IM? Why hasn't he deleted me or blocked me? And I guess, why haven't I? But reading this tonight..he is a jerk....I shouldn't have apologized, he should have...and it is a good thing I am not texting him, but it is killing me, I gotta tell you and I do miss him, why I don't know? But do these guys really care after all the time we spend with them, does it bother them at all that we don't talk anymore? Oh, I here is the topper, I have been widowed for awhile now , he knew that, we did sleep together, but he still talked to me after that, but just recently, he had started becoming distant...and that is when I saw him on the site..gosh, why does it have to hurt so much?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2010):

Men are weird. It's like, they don't even think about how their actions affect others. They really seem to be bred to think of themselves only, and answer to no one. It's rediculous the level of disrespect some guys show women, who've loved them. It's unreal that they decide not to say ANYTHING, like as if, we'll just go away and not judge them or wonder why. Good grief, it's like they don't think we are people or that we count or deserve any explanations. And yet it's natural for us to enquire and enquire and get nothing...just nothing. like we are irrelevant all the sudden. Like we aren't important enough. Surely they'd tell their boss, or their family if they were to go on a vacation, and they can't tell the woman who loves them, when they vanish. IT's so pathetic, that once you wrap your head around it, you realize, they don't deserve our attention. WE shouldn't inquire, it just them feel important and wanted, and they aren't giving US the time of day! So, what are we doing? It's good to get reminders from fdriends, to cut the guy off hard if he cuts you off, and I'm sure it would get his attention! But we nevr do that. instead we stick around, and keep the door open, and pray, and say we care, and ask what's wrong honeybunch? And he just doesn't care. he really doesn't.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2009):

leave him he could be with someone else ignor him dump him but dont you tell him let someone else tell him if he doesent care he doesent love you

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2009):

i think you should just ignore him and show him you dont care and if he cares he will come around ...but dont be happy he texts or calls but i think its your turn to ignore him ..if he doesnt come around break it off bc he doesnt like you anymore or its other girls

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2009):

Do NOT go to his house to confront him, it won't do you any good. Men respond to ACTIONS, not words. In other words, you can SHOW him better than you can TELL him. CUT HIM OFF ALTOGETHER and if he's just playing games with you, he'll cut the BS and come running. If he truly doesn't care & doesn't come back then congratulations...you are one man closer to finding your soul mate.

If you haven't read "Men are From Mars, Women are from Venus", I suggest you get a copy & read the sections about men needing time in their "cave" and the "rubber band" relationship theory. They explain a lot.

Whatever you do, keep in mind that men lose their respect when a woman doesn't keep their cool in these situations and they tune her out & not hear anything she has to say. They write her off as "crazy" (unfairly, most of the time) & automatically she loses credbility. You *must* keep a stiff upper lip and, in the wise words of my grandmother, "Never let 'em see you bleed, kid...never"

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A female reader, A little fed up United Kingdom +, writes (16 November 2009):

I am going through the same thing - but it hurts so much as this is the second time around for us. We were together 6 years ago and remained friends when we were not ready to settle down. Then 3 months ago we decided to give it another go, older wiser and ready. He is 40, never married and said that he wanted to settle down, marriage, family. Exactly the same as what I wanted. I then took a holiday when he was not availble to go to see a friend and he has been cold ever since. i have cried all the tears and preparing myself to be on my own again, with good friends, he gym, books, films...

Today is the first day that I have no tried to make contact with him, but what hurts the most over this is that I thought I had a friend in him, and I can't imagine any friend doing this.

If he doesn't come back, I will survive as it seems I attract this kind of guy, and I hope that one day I will learn to trust in men again and hopefully find one that turns out to have a good strong heart.

Reading your messages have helped -thanks

Good luck everyone.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2009):

Blimey! The response from the lady in May 2008 ... it could have been my story too. Hopefully I can be that strong and say no too if and when he calls. Thank you ladies - remember we are all worth so much more and a good friend once told me to 'Judge men by what they do, not what they say' xx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2009):

I feel your pain! I was seeing this guy while out of town for my job. We hit it off for an extremely passionate 2 months and left on good terms. I haven't heard from him ever since except for a single, half-assed, closed-ended response to whatever text message I send letting him know that I am thinking about him. No calls, nothing! I recently went through a similar situation with a different guy and got some valuable "forget his ass" practice. I would just forget about this guy too (I have already started that process). However, we are only on a month-long hiatus and will be back working together again for another extended period of time. It will be pretty hard to try to ignore his ass since I will see him a lot. All I can do is make sure that I look good (I am working out for bikini season and am actually using this as motivation) and act like I don't give a hoot that he is there right in front of me. Hopefully, by the time I see him again, I actually won't give a damn. Seriously though, this WILL happen again and it DOES get much easier with practice. See this as a learning experience.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2009):

i'm going through the same thing right now. I don't like it one bit.. I know this seems a bit late to respond..me and my BF [ex?] became a couple the 23rd of Dec. everything was going well.. we would either text or IM everyday, he would call most nights. then he just up and got irritated that I never called him not once, when in fact i did call him. I just never got an answer. the most we went without talking or texting was 3days. but lately we haven't talked in 2weeks. he was the first to say "I love you" and I truly do love him too... one night while AIMing as I said good night, I told him that I love him. he didn't respond or say anything. what hurt the most was the fact that he kept on going idle and unidle all night.. he hasn't spoke to me since. this is the most miserable I've ever been.

reading these advices that many of you have posted really touched me. and i'm going to take it and put it to good use.

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A female reader, Oona United States +, writes (1 June 2009):

I know it's really hard when someone ignores you, it feels disrespectful and cruel. However, I think you need to look inward to yourself and ask a few questions. "Why am I feeling like this person should be talking to me?" "Why do I keep trying to communicate with a cruel person?" It's the age old control issue, because what we don't understand, we want to understand and unfortunately it's never easy to understand how others think always.

Men normally avoid situations, so if a guy is not talking to you, it's probably because #1. He met another girl, #2. He's just not that into you and is looking for another girl, #3. He is avoiding you because you make him feel uncomfortable or inferior or #4. He just doesn't care.

Let him go, let ALL of him go, don't waste your time thinking about him, use that time to find someone that wants a relationship with you because a relationship is about TWO not just 1 person trying to get another person to do something.

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A female reader, mb47977 United States +, writes (1 June 2009):

I have the same problem and I'm ignoring him and trying postitively to move on with my life which is hard but I know that I can ignore him when he trys to talk to me at school. Don't make it a worse problem than it already seems to be. He might come around! I'm trying to tell myself that same thing it can be hard. Good Luck!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2009):

Ignore his butt!! Even if you love the man enough to crawl accross the world on your knees for him -- he should NEVER ask you to to expect you to.

It is a simple word. Respect.

If he does not respect you, why are you wasting time worrying about him rather than caring about yourself? Walk tall and laugh lots and tell yourself "I refuse to be the victim in this! It is MY life and I am going to enjoy and life every moment of it for myself!" Obviously you appreciate yourself enough to show concern to your wants and needs. . .so why doesn't he? tick tock, ladies . . dontcha think you deserve someone who deserves someone like you? . . :)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2009):

I am going through similar stupidity! Been seeing this guy from a dating website for 8 weeks. All has been great and i have no bad vibes from him as at all, i haven't said anything to make think 'bunny boiler' and we have such good time together, sex is good too and he has always been good at contacting etc.

Then he cancelled dinner last week with a genuine reason and has not contacted to re-schedule. We have been seeing each about once a week for the time we have been dating. Now he seems to be ignoring me. Have sent a couple of 'bait' texts to get any kind of response but nothing. Even texted him to say i needed an answer to whether he wanted some rugby tickets that i had been offered - he loves rugby.....but still no reply. I would just rather know if hes not interested anymore - and he doesn't seem the type to just ignore.

The last girl he dated (4 dates) he told me had had to call it a day with her and did it via text which he knew was bad - but at least he did it! But with me....nothing....Some of my friends think i am overreacting, that maybe he needs some space to sort his head out as he needs to think whether he wants a full on relationship, that hs crazy busy at work (has quite a responsible job in the City). Others think he is being rude and a coward. So which is it?!! To add insult to injury similar things have happened with us as sometimes i don't get all his texts and he doesn't always get mine! Could this have happened again??? Its just annoying not knowing. I really like him and think we could be good together so don't want to burn all my bridges too quickly in case there is a totally reasonable explaination. Advice very much welcome! Boys views too!

In my mind the ignoring thing can work but you do your own head in going crazy not knowing. Perhaps send him a text or voicemail basically saying that it seems like hes not interested any more and that you'd like to know as you want to move on. Maybe say if you don't hear back soon you'll take that as the answer. Anyway i could be wrong as so many people are saying IGNORE!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2009):

all these answers are good and help alot. thanks.i will ignore him

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2008):

Wow. All this has made me feel better. I am normally avery strong minded person. But on the 22nd of this month I became the girlfriend of a guy that I was dating for a very short time - no doubt it was VERY precipitated. But it looked like just maybe our situation had a shot. We talked a lot less than when we were dating, but nonetheless he texted and called for a bit but he at least was there. 3 days later I came to the conclusion he was interested at all in me. He was cold distant and I didn't even get a Merry Christmas from him on the 25th. I also hadn't seen him since. This is considering he lived 10 minutes away and worked 5 minutes away from my home. Anyways, I decided I wanted to break this ridiculous childish game when I texted him letting him know I needed to speak to him in person he said "okay". The next day, I reminded him I needed to talk to him - that I wasn't going to take much of his time. I did not get a reply the whole day. I'm still waiting to see if he appears. All I want is to break up with him. A nice friendly, peaceful break up to bring some closure to this situation. But the man has gone M.I.A. He had spoken to me everyday even for a bit - but when I tell him I need to talk to him - he disappeared. I don't understand, and I don't have time for this game either.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2008):

I have actually had this happen so many times. Recently, I found a guy that really understands me and cares for me. He doesn't always respond. He will go a day without talking to me or responding to me and the next he will act like nothing was wrong. When I bring it up, they sound like excuses.

Even the best of guys can be like this and it is saddening. I would suggest you move on. He won't give you a response as to what is going on, and won't let you know it is over, so why waste your time? Make the decision yourself.

If he can be like this to you just once, whose to say it won't happen again? I noticed that if they do it just once, that it always happens again and again. It is not fun and you end up hurt in the end more than you are while it's happening because you are so confused about it and you never really know what happened.

Delete him from your email, messengers, and your phone. This will prevent you from contacting him because you aren't tempted to because you don't see him online, etc. Don't call him, don't message him or slip him an email. Don't pay him attention. Let things fall together or apart. Whichever happens was meant to happen.

Everyone else is right, its all a game.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2008):

I am a guy and had a relationship with a girl who has the same problem with not calling and waiting for me to initiate phone calls, emails, etc.. I thought she was a shy person or that was part of her personality.

few months down the road after getting to know her better, I can tell you for sure this is a trait of a person who want to feed their ego by saying I have people slobbering to get with me and their is no real love here just selfishness.

I am sorry to say there is no real relationship with this person and you should feel free of guilt that it's ending by them no you either.

I believe the advice by many others here are correct, you should move on. You are obviously very thoughtful and loving person, that’s why I believe you deserve some one who appreciates you the same way.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2008):

Ok, so your all going mad because he has not replied to your emails, calls etc.

STOP! IGNORE HIM PLEASE!!! Act as if you don't give a shit, he wants a reaction, so don't play ball. Some men play games like this to gain control, he wants you to give him all this attention coz it boosts his ego. Try to stay cool and in control, go out with your friends and have a laugh, he will soon see what he is missing. I promise, you will have the last laugh... If it doesnt work out at least youve kept your dignity...

Anyway do you really want this childish little boy or a man that will treat you right. Its an important question to ask but maybe this behaviour is just the tip of the iceberg, think what he could be like if you really got to know him. Men who behave like this tend to be insecure, ie you might be forever pandering to his ego.

Good luck x

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2008):

I am going through the same thing. The bewildered 'what have I done?' and 'What can I do to fix this?' type of questions are whizzing around inside my head just now. My current situation arose from a bad time in my general life, where I just needed support, a hug and some reassurance from him that everything would pass and would be ok. Unfortunately, he chose this time to add to my troubles by hinting by text that we were through. The words 'Its over' have never been said. I have wondered if he has felt like finishing for a long time, but was waiting for just one thing to give him the excuse to go. Thing is, I still don't know where I stand with him. Now he is ignoring my texts, emails and calls. I have taken comfort from the replies here and can see how puppy-dog-like I am being. I love him with all of my heart and I think i'm still vulnerable enough to do or say anything to get him back by my side. I am short-changing myself, not for the first time. I wish I had had the gumption to do the ignore thing years ago as I know I'm making a fool of myself but can't stop. I got an email from a friend saying " If you love someone set them free, if they come back they are yours, if they don't they never were" I hope I find the strength soon to do this. Good luck everyone, I hope we get there in the end. xxx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2008):

Hey Sweety. I'm also going through the same thing!

i tried talking to him on msn, the phone, everything! it hurts really bad doesn't it? I suggest you don't go over his house and start having a go at him, that'll just push him away. Give it a while see if he texts you. If he does, then he was just after attention i expect, if not maybe he's not interested anymore, i know it hurts to think like that but, yeah. Prepare yourself for the worse, that way if it is the worst your prepared. Good Luck Babes xxx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2008):

hey everyone

I am going through this too with my bf. He claims he is always busy but when i caught him , he didnt even respond. so now im choosing to just let him be. he promised to bring some things to me. I am just letting it rest until he shows up hopefully.

We are in the same boat. Just let them be. Time is precious. Precious enough to not be wasted over another person.

hope this helps even thought it hurts bad.

Gd luck

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2008):

there seems to be so many of us going through this. My BF of

3 years has a cycle (4 times in 3 years) of running away and hiding when anything emotional is discussed, he does not know how to deal with it so he hides... it is childish and painful and takes effort on my part to send texts to ease his mind that the discussion is over and its all light hearted again so he comes back from hiding... this time he has ignored me for

2 and half weeks and although it was a big issue I brought up its painful and I think he maybe selfish and manipulating or maybe a fear of intimacy...Anyone else think their BF reacts like this only to certain situations? I am not sure if he will come back this time but I sure ain't doing anything to encourage him to, its his turn to step up and be a man all by himself while I muster all my strength to stand my ground... scared but hanging in there. It is a help to read all stories above. Good luck girlies.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2008):

Hey My so called boyf is doing this with me atm.I say ignore him i know its hard-I found it soooo difficult to do too.But it does pay off.Go out with your girlies sumwhere he is bound to see you,and show him wot he's missin.If he doesn't respond.Who cares u go and find sum other hottie to take your mind off him.He will sune cum crawling bak.he he

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2008):

I am going through too! I met a 42-year old guy, really nice. He drives more than an hour and a half to meet me, we have a great time, he says he wants to see me again and that he'll call me when he gets home. It's five days later, and NOTHING! I've left messages, his cell phone has been turned off the entire weekend. I asked all the pertinent dating questions..."are you married?" "are you involved with someone?" and he says he thinks I'm a nice girl with a big heart. He says he wants to see me again. I'm crushed. I don't get why they just can't call to say "I'm no longer interested."

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2008):

Wow! I left my troubled marriage for someone I have known for 10 years now. He told me that he loved me and wanted me in his life, wanted to share his life with me. I left my troubled marriage, and as soon as he knew that I was out on my own working on ending my marriage and getting my life together, he stopped calling. He ignores my e-mails and 3 weeks ago, he stood me up, no phone call, no text, no e-mail, nothing. I cannot tell you how heart broken I am. My marriage was bad from the start. I tried to make it work, but then figured that I was wasting my time. Now, my whole world is upside down, my marriage is in limbo, as I can't focus, and I have not heard a single word from Dan. My resolve... I'm not calling him, and when and if he does call me... I am simply going to say "NO".

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2008):

Yep this has happened to me too. It helps a little to know its not just my ex guy. I was with my man for 2 years. He would profess undying love and committment one day then back off a few days later. The more I gave him his space the quicker he came back, but the committment to move in together was always taken away, until the next time. 2 weeks ago after he planned to move in with me the next day he started an arguement and he hasn't spoken to me since, he has ignored all my calls etc. no explanation no goodbye, nothing.

I agree with everyones advice. Stop calling, let him go and get on with your life. If its meant to be he will come back. But i think in time you'll start asking yourself do you want to be with a man who disrespects you and has no problem making you feel really bad.

I understand how hard it it cos it makes what time you have shared feel like a sham. Maybe one day he'll have the manners to tell you why. Until then, get out there girl, have fun and be proud of who you are.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2008):

I am going through this exact same thing with a guy who is 42 years old..they just don't ever change! you would think they grow up but they don't ...it's so hurtful to be blanked ..and he did it before too..i feel so so ashamed that i sent him so many e mails and phoned and he just egnored me... I feel really insulted and wish i could just move on and forget him but its so hard....im 36 and I think that if i had practiced ignoring men when i was younger i wouldnt be still in this position now..where the man has all the power... if you ar young then please please ignore the man.....don't call him...he will come back ...but if you give in he will do it to you over and over again!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2008):

he obviously doesnt want to be with u... its nt like u lot are actually going out with them and ur prob not old enough to propeli feel love...

my boyfriend is at uni about 50 miles away from me... and guess what hes decided to ignore me n nt care about me :s but he says he loves me... iv bin with him 2 n half years... its not sumfin u jus throw away... ill jus hav to wait GOD :@

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2008):

I am going through the same thing. If he really likes you he will end up calling. He likes the fact that your chasing him. Right now he's not worried about anything because he knows your there. If you decide to just leave him alone he will start thinking about it and either call u or not.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2008):

do what everyonee is sayying ignore him backk

i have the same problem

im sittin here right now waiting for him to say something back and he isnt

so im not talkin to him at all

i stopped for like 3 days (talking to him)

and he came to me first

saying hi

but i played it simple

i just said hi back then he will try to have a conversation with u

just be patient honeyy

i know its hard beacause its hard for me now

but dont worry he will come to u =]

good luck 3

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2008):

Im going through the exact same thing, at first i started freaking out, i didnt know what to do, but then my friend told me, to just not completely give up hope, but enetertain my mind with other things, this has really helped and it will for u too, before u know it he will be talking to u again, and if he doesnt then hes not worth it.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2007):

I am going through the same thing. I would have give the guy all of the attention he would have needed in the bedroom. But, he chose the silly mind games. LOL.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2007):

Look, maybe he is a bad breaker-upper...been there, done it...one of my boyfriends was with me for 1 year..we were fine, but suddenly he called me one day to say, its not working out anymore...with no other explanation, now 8 years later we are on again, and he tells me he just wanted a break for one month, but he saw me with another man 2 weeks later and i was not available..it drove him crazy, but now we are back and it is much better...i understand he needs allot of him time...and i give that to him...my point is that simply he is probably a bad breaker-upper, just take that as a hint, and hopefully you will get an explanation later..and hopefully u will have moved on to better things...and hopefully he will see you with someone else..cause it feels good..real goood...good luck

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2007):

I think you should try to just forget about him.... I know it will probably be really hard to do but just wait till he responds to you.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2007):

going through this aswell. its obvious though. if a guy wants something he will just go for it. if he doesnt then he wont. its just embarrassing to think thast he could treat me like this after getting so close. it makes me feel so embarassed, that is if he realy is not contacting me in order to get rid of me !!! i just dont know. anyway. men r very wired

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2007):

damn right - a guy just did this to me, why should YOU have to wait around for HIM! Get on with your life and sooner or later someone will come along who wants to be part of it.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2006):

Well, the main reason could be cheating.. you might of been treating him unfairly perhaps or in a way he didnt like... maybe his friends have been saying things about you that made him get put off by you... also when you were close did he say i love you and you say it back if not maybe he thinks that you dont like him.. could be giving you space.. go to his house if you want to contact him or ring on private number or even if you know one of his friends plan a little get together.. a good thing would be ask his friend and see what he knows or thinks however make sure your close with this person other wise he might not say nothing or even lie or just tell him and make you look silly.. just ignore him its for the best hes obviously not the one for You... dont beg there are so many men out there!!!!!!

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A female reader, marie78 +, writes (11 November 2006):

Men need their space and sometimes they distance themselves from woman in order to get that space. However, his behavior is disrespectful. Listen, I've made the same mistake in confronting my now ex-bf... here's what happened: when he started distancing himself from you, I got pissed, and sent him an email, expressing how he was taking me for granted. A week later, he broke-up with me... however, we're still communicating (Weird situation). Anyway, start distancing yourself from him before getting angrier... distance yourself by not contacting him and start making plans with your friends. If you make him feel as if he's losing you, then he'll come around and start treating you right! trust me!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2006):

I know how you feel-I've been uin a similar situation before. What you need to know is not try to contach him-at all-hard ads it may be. He will either see what he's missing and come crawling back or he will have time away from you to think and come to a conclusion that-if he is a decent person as I'm sure he probably is-he will inform you of in his own time. Yes it will be hard but try to keep as busy as you possibly can. This will show him you are your own person and have a life outside of him and this will prompt a reaction from him. Good luck!!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2006):

So i was totally reading this comment and i am going through the same thing...its weird. My boyfriend of 3 years just moved miles and miles away...I should be joining him soon but he is acting like such a fool..he ignores me and mmy calls atleast once a month for a couple dayss...it really sucks. I totally agree with the whole ignore it waay.....guys totally feed off of anything they can..no matter what it costs...they have egos...and they need to be pumped up as much as possible..i guess thats what makes them men...or shall i saya boys...Im sure its just some sort of silly sick stupid game....THEYLL get over it ......right.?????...LEts HOPE SO!! untill then....lets just play the game they want to play.

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A female reader, Bev Conolly Australia +, writes (25 January 2006):

Bev Conolly agony auntThere are at least two good reasons to leave off contacting him. The first is that, if he's just yanking your chain and making you "prove" how much you care about him, that it short-circuits the pleasure he gets from that.

The second is that, if he's angry about something, he may just need time to be alone and work through it. There's nothing wrong with that!

It would be a mistake to "go to his house and confront him". Confront him with what? People occasionally go off their relationships and need time alone. That's hardly worthy of note.

Back off. Take a deep breath. He doesn't owe you anything, so you have no cause to be angry. If you feel you must, send him a quick text saying that you can see he wants to be alone, so you'll give him some space until he's ready to talk.

Then do it. Go back to the rest of your life. Remember the rest of your life? Friends? Family? Walking the dog? Reading a good book? Watching a silly DVD? You're working yourself into a positive frenzy over nothing.

Give him *and* yourself some time. When he's ready to talk, then you can express yourself. Just remember that you can't demand someone's affection, which seems to be what you're trying, unsuccessfully, to do.

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A female reader, sara87 +, writes (25 January 2006):

sara87 agony auntdont comfront him hun. he sounds like he is really not worth all the bother you are going through. think to your self do you really want to be with a BOY who acts this childishly and can hurt you like this?

ignore him girl and get on with your life and find someone who deserves you. or even send him a text saying that you dont wanna be with a boy anymore and our going to look for a man C Ya!!! lol. get someone better hun . good luck

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A female reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx United Kingdom +, writes (25 January 2006):

xxxsoulsistaxxx agony auntIGNORE HIM!! I'm begging you, just leave it. He's probably loving all this attention, most people would. Don't ask desperate and he'll come running back once he thinks you're not bothered anymore. And if he doesn't, there's your answer: he doesn't want to be with you anymore so you can move on.

People love to feed their ego when someone is desperate to be with them and around them all the time, especially some guys. Just leave him to his childish games and get on with your life, you want a man not some silly little boy who thinks he can ignore you whenever he feels like it.

Good luck

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