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female
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anonymous
writes: I really need some advice on what to do..my so called bf has been totally ignoring me he hasnt taken any of my calls for 5 days now i leave him emails and instant messages but nothing i had written a letter to him like 4 days ago reguarding our little issues and everything appeard to be going good untill the letter now i am getting avoided like the plauge. If he doesn't want to see me anymore than he should tell me thats all i want and i am getting so mad that i am contemplating going to his house to confront him because this isnt a good thing. help what should i do??? Reply to this Question |
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2008): there seems to be so many of us going through this. My BF of
3 years has a cycle (4 times in 3 years) of running away and hiding when anything emotional is discussed, he does not know how to deal with it so he hides... it is childish and painful and takes effort on my part to send texts to ease his mind that the discussion is over and its all light hearted again so he comes back from hiding... this time he has ignored me for
2 and half weeks and although it was a big issue I brought up its painful and I think he maybe selfish and manipulating or maybe a fear of intimacy...Anyone else think their BF reacts like this only to certain situations? I am not sure if he will come back this time but I sure ain't doing anything to encourage him to, its his turn to step up and be a man all by himself while I muster all my strength to stand my ground... scared but hanging in there. It is a help to read all stories above. Good luck girlies.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2008): Hey My so called boyf is doing this with me atm.I say ignore him i know its hard-I found it soooo difficult to do too.But it does pay off.Go out with your girlies sumwhere he is bound to see you,and show him wot he's missin.If he doesn't respond.Who cares u go and find sum other hottie to take your mind off him.He will sune cum crawling bak.he he
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2008): I am going through too! I met a 42-year old guy, really nice. He drives more than an hour and a half to meet me, we have a great time, he says he wants to see me again and that he'll call me when he gets home. It's five days later, and NOTHING! I've left messages, his cell phone has been turned off the entire weekend. I asked all the pertinent dating questions..."are you married?" "are you involved with someone?" and he says he thinks I'm a nice girl with a big heart. He says he wants to see me again. I'm crushed. I don't get why they just can't call to say "I'm no longer interested."
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2008): Wow! I left my troubled marriage for someone I have known for 10 years now. He told me that he loved me and wanted me in his life, wanted to share his life with me. I left my troubled marriage, and as soon as he knew that I was out on my own working on ending my marriage and getting my life together, he stopped calling. He ignores my e-mails and 3 weeks ago, he stood me up, no phone call, no text, no e-mail, nothing. I cannot tell you how heart broken I am. My marriage was bad from the start. I tried to make it work, but then figured that I was wasting my time. Now, my whole world is upside down, my marriage is in limbo, as I can't focus, and I have not heard a single word from Dan. My resolve... I'm not calling him, and when and if he does call me... I am simply going to say "NO".
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2008): Yep this has happened to me too. It helps a little to know its not just my ex guy. I was with my man for 2 years. He would profess undying love and committment one day then back off a few days later. The more I gave him his space the quicker he came back, but the committment to move in together was always taken away, until the next time. 2 weeks ago after he planned to move in with me the next day he started an arguement and he hasn't spoken to me since, he has ignored all my calls etc. no explanation no goodbye, nothing.
I agree with everyones advice. Stop calling, let him go and get on with your life. If its meant to be he will come back. But i think in time you'll start asking yourself do you want to be with a man who disrespects you and has no problem making you feel really bad.
I understand how hard it it cos it makes what time you have shared feel like a sham. Maybe one day he'll have the manners to tell you why. Until then, get out there girl, have fun and be proud of who you are.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2008): I am going through this exact same thing with a guy who is 42 years old..they just don't ever change! you would think they grow up but they don't ...it's so hurtful to be blanked ..and he did it before too..i feel so so ashamed that i sent him so many e mails and phoned and he just egnored me... I feel really insulted and wish i could just move on and forget him but its so hard....im 36 and I think that if i had practiced ignoring men when i was younger i wouldnt be still in this position now..where the man has all the power... if you ar young then please please ignore the man.....don't call him...he will come back ...but if you give in he will do it to you over and over again!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2008): he obviously doesnt want to be with u... its nt like u lot are actually going out with them and ur prob not old enough to propeli feel love... my boyfriend is at uni about 50 miles away from me... and guess what hes decided to ignore me n nt care about me :s but he says he loves me... iv bin with him 2 n half years... its not sumfin u jus throw away... ill jus hav to wait GOD :@
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2008): I am going through the same thing. If he really likes you he will end up calling. He likes the fact that your chasing him. Right now he's not worried about anything because he knows your there. If you decide to just leave him alone he will start thinking about it and either call u or not.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2008): do what everyonee is sayying ignore him backk
i have the same problem
im sittin here right now waiting for him to say something back and he isnt
so im not talkin to him at all
i stopped for like 3 days (talking to him)
and he came to me first
saying hi
but i played it simple
i just said hi back then he will try to have a conversation with u
just be patient honeyy
i know its hard beacause its hard for me now
but dont worry he will come to u =]
good luck 3
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2008): Im going through the exact same thing, at first i started freaking out, i didnt know what to do, but then my friend told me, to just not completely give up hope, but enetertain my mind with other things, this has really helped and it will for u too, before u know it he will be talking to u again, and if he doesnt then hes not worth it.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2007): I am going through the same thing. I would have give the guy all of the attention he would have needed in the bedroom. But, he chose the silly mind games. LOL.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2007): Look, maybe he is a bad breaker-upper...been there, done it...one of my boyfriends was with me for 1 year..we were fine, but suddenly he called me one day to say, its not working out anymore...with no other explanation, now 8 years later we are on again, and he tells me he just wanted a break for one month, but he saw me with another man 2 weeks later and i was not available..it drove him crazy, but now we are back and it is much better...i understand he needs allot of him time...and i give that to him...my point is that simply he is probably a bad breaker-upper, just take that as a hint, and hopefully you will get an explanation later..and hopefully u will have moved on to better things...and hopefully he will see you with someone else..cause it feels good..real goood...good luck
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2007): I think you should try to just forget about him.... I know it will probably be really hard to do but just wait till he responds to you.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2007): going through this aswell. its obvious though. if a guy wants something he will just go for it. if he doesnt then he wont. its just embarrassing to think thast he could treat me like this after getting so close. it makes me feel so embarassed, that is if he realy is not contacting me in order to get rid of me !!! i just dont know. anyway. men r very wired
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2007): damn right - a guy just did this to me, why should YOU have to wait around for HIM! Get on with your life and sooner or later someone will come along who wants to be part of it.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2006): Well, the main reason could be cheating.. you might of been treating him unfairly perhaps or in a way he didnt like... maybe his friends have been saying things about you that made him get put off by you... also when you were close did he say i love you and you say it back if not maybe he thinks that you dont like him.. could be giving you space.. go to his house if you want to contact him or ring on private number or even if you know one of his friends plan a little get together.. a good thing would be ask his friend and see what he knows or thinks however make sure your close with this person other wise he might not say nothing or even lie or just tell him and make you look silly.. just ignore him its for the best hes obviously not the one for You... dont beg there are so many men out there!!!!!!
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female
reader, marie78 +, writes (11 November 2006):
Men need their space and sometimes they distance themselves from woman in order to get that space. However, his behavior is disrespectful. Listen, I've made the same mistake in confronting my now ex-bf... here's what happened: when he started distancing himself from you, I got pissed, and sent him an email, expressing how he was taking me for granted. A week later, he broke-up with me... however, we're still communicating (Weird situation). Anyway, start distancing yourself from him before getting angrier... distance yourself by not contacting him and start making plans with your friends. If you make him feel as if he's losing you, then he'll come around and start treating you right! trust me!
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2006): I know how you feel-I've been uin a similar situation before. What you need to know is not try to contach him-at all-hard ads it may be. He will either see what he's missing and come crawling back or he will have time away from you to think and come to a conclusion that-if he is a decent person as I'm sure he probably is-he will inform you of in his own time. Yes it will be hard but try to keep as busy as you possibly can. This will show him you are your own person and have a life outside of him and this will prompt a reaction from him. Good luck!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2006): So i was totally reading this comment and i am going through the same thing...its weird. My boyfriend of 3 years just moved miles and miles away...I should be joining him soon but he is acting like such a fool..he ignores me and mmy calls atleast once a month for a couple dayss...it really sucks. I totally agree with the whole ignore it waay.....guys totally feed off of anything they can..no matter what it costs...they have egos...and they need to be pumped up as much as possible..i guess thats what makes them men...or shall i saya boys...Im sure its just some sort of silly sick stupid game....THEYLL get over it ......right.?????...LEts HOPE SO!! untill then....lets just play the game they want to play.
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reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (25 January 2006):
 There are at least two good reasons to leave off contacting him. The first is that, if he's just yanking your chain and making you "prove" how much you care about him, that it short-circuits the pleasure he gets from that.
The second is that, if he's angry about something, he may just need time to be alone and work through it. There's nothing wrong with that!
It would be a mistake to "go to his house and confront him". Confront him with what? People occasionally go off their relationships and need time alone. That's hardly worthy of note.
Back off. Take a deep breath. He doesn't owe you anything, so you have no cause to be angry. If you feel you must, send him a quick text saying that you can see he wants to be alone, so you'll give him some space until he's ready to talk.
Then do it. Go back to the rest of your life. Remember the rest of your life? Friends? Family? Walking the dog? Reading a good book? Watching a silly DVD? You're working yourself into a positive frenzy over nothing.
Give him *and* yourself some time. When he's ready to talk, then you can express yourself. Just remember that you can't demand someone's affection, which seems to be what you're trying, unsuccessfully, to do.
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female
reader, sara87 +, writes (25 January 2006):
 dont comfront him hun. he sounds like he is really not worth all the bother you are going through. think to your self do you really want to be with a BOY who acts this childishly and can hurt you like this? ignore him girl and get on with your life and find someone who deserves you. or even send him a text saying that you dont wanna be with a boy anymore and our going to look for a man C Ya!!! lol. get someone better hun . good luck
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reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx  +, writes (25 January 2006):
 IGNORE HIM!! I'm begging you, just leave it. He's probably loving all this attention, most people would. Don't ask desperate and he'll come running back once he thinks you're not bothered anymore. And if he doesn't, there's your answer: he doesn't want to be with you anymore so you can move on.
People love to feed their ego when someone is desperate to be with them and around them all the time, especially some guys. Just leave him to his childish games and get on with your life, you want a man not some silly little boy who thinks he can ignore you whenever he feels like it.
Good luck
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