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female
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anonymous
writes: My (now ex) boyfriend and I have been together for a little over six years, and until about four months ago we had been talking about marriage, children, and settling down together in general. Out of nowhere he then told me that he was unsure about everything, and he thought we may just be together out of habit rather than love. I agreed to give him space to work things out, to the point of my moving from our apartment so that he could be alone. A few days ago I found out he wasn't quite as alone as I thought: there's a girl he's been dating for at least two weeks. When I confronted him about it, he told me that he's using her to "test" our relationship, to check whether or not the same feelings arise for her that he has for me. To make a long story short, we began to talk this out once the screaming and crying stopped. We agreed to a set of terms, including a maximum of two months that he can continue to see this girl, that there would be no sex involved, and that he would check in with me regularly, but it all feels wrong! I truly do love him and still picture us married, but I'm so frustrated and confused by his behaviour that I'm seriously considering walking away altogether (which he begged me not to do). I'm starting to feel as though he's stringing me along for some sort of sick amusement, and I don't know that I can trust him in the future even if he is telling me the truth.I'm in desperate need of help. There's no one I can talk to about this, and I've never needed some good advise more. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, AngelofLove  +, writes (3 December 2006):
 Even if it is true what he say, this guy is using a girl as a test. Do you want a future with a guy that uses women as guiney pigs.
Be prepare to accept that this is an excuse that he has moved on and you should as well.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2006): Personally, I would walk away. It sounds like he is using you as a back-up plan if he doesnt find anyone else or doesnt like being on his own. You deserve better than this. If he really loved you he would not want to be with out you at all.
As for dating another woman- how can trust him not to have sex with her? Does she know about you? Is it ok for you to date someone else also during this time?
It is difficult to walk away from a long term relationship but is it not better to move.
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