A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello,I have been with my bf 4 yrs now and he's had trust issues from the beginning. For starters I've always been loyal and I show him how much I love him. At first I chalked things off to insecurites, he's very jealous as well. He can be very hot and cold, some anger issues if things don't go his way. He even gets jealous if I show an interest to a male celebrity. He however seems to do whatever he chooses, goes out without telling me. Lies, keeps things from me. He has to control finances he says if not he feels inferior. He's even called my ex several times to ask if we've been together. I trust him but at times I'm feeling like maybe he's accusing because he's up to no good. What do you think?
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2012): Sound familiar? http://www.drjoecarver.com/clients/49355/File/IdentifyingLosers.htmlYou know I don't think whether he's cheating is the real issue here. You do know that his jealousy and possessiveness is not fixable right? It's who he is and will always be. Seriously, there is no changing a person like him. The question you need to ask is if this is the life you want to always lead, is this the kind of relationship you always want to have, because he will never, ever change. It's not about insecurity it's his personality because after 4 years he should be secure but the fact he's not means it's who he is.I would not be able to stay in a relationship with a person like that because they're not long term relationship material, you can't be yourself you have to walk on eggshells and it's just constant work. Well screw that.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2012): I am putting in this answer based on you not doing anything to arouse his suspicious behaviour. From my experience you are being judged off his own character. people like him are a danger, will cheat on you and then go bitter if you end it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2012): I am surprised you've lasted 4 years to be honest.
He wants to control you, remember your not his possesion your his girlfriend. Never mind the jealousy the anger is an issue as well.How can you live like this?
Get rid fast.. but be prepared for him not letting you go easily, have been there myself and he was cheating too.
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A
female
reader, Kit-Kat  +, writes (2 January 2012):
Don't bother with this guy, he has probably cheated on you and is scared you will do the same! Please just leave him,he is a controlling freak! Sorry honey..
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A
female
reader, bearN  +, writes (2 January 2012):
 OMG!! how could you keep him in you're life for four years. I really don't understand what you want and what is that thing you don't want. Either you should talk things out or chuck him off your life.
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A
male
reader, DoubleM  +, writes (2 January 2012):
 Well, based upon your posting, I think he is a control freak who wants to dominate you.
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