A
female
age
51-59,
*egasVanessa
writes:I went out with this guy for 5 dates. He's in a meetup.com group and he took me on 3 of the dates to go to the events with this group. On the 5th date he talked to his friends and had his back to me. Then he put his arm around his best friend who is a girl. I asked him to take me home and he asked me why. I told him I felt like he was ignoring me. He said I met his friends 3 times already and should be assertive and talk to them. I wasn't there to be with his friends. Any advice?
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female
reader, hurleyflipflop +, writes (20 July 2008):
 i feel like what he did to you was rude and inconsiderate..he should be a little more understanding about the fact that you may or may not have felt comfortable around his friends....i say talk to him about it & expect an apology...if he does it again then NEXT him...don't settle for mistreatment
A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (20 July 2008):
 Just checked the site and it seems to be a sort of collection of hobby groups, a way for people with similar intrests to find each other. So presumably the people you were with all shared a common interest.
So was it a date OR was it a social gathering? There is a difference. A date is you and another person (and another person for the more adventurous) a social gathering is more you and him going out with some other people to do something fun. At a date you have a right to expect your date to spend a lot of time with you, less so with a social gathering. If you for instance take your gf along on a company outing then it is almost expected that she spend at least some time meeting with your co-workers and not the two of you constantly alone together.
Was the 5th date supposed to be a date? Do you share an interest in whatever this group is about?
He might have left you alone to much and you might have been expecting to much attention. Or he is a callous idiot who thinks it is okay to be with his mates on a date. You were there.
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